Oskar's grandmother states, "He never took pictures of
me, and we didn't buy life insurance." What does this statement tell us
about the character and their relationship?
When did his grandma move? Where did she move to?
Why is it so important that Oskar's grandfather's hands
didn't lose their roughness? What caused them to remain coarse?
Her mother's pearls are mentioned a few times. Is this
significant? If so, why? Explain.
Why was she thinking of shoes?
"He promised us that everything would be ok. I was a
child, but I knew that everything would not be ok. That did not make my father
a liar. It made him my father." What is the significance of this quote?
What does it tell us?
While helping her to learn about makeup, her mother cries.
Why?
Why does Oskar's grandmother get rid of all the pers from
the apartment?
57 comments:
Oskar's grandfather was a sculptor. Like an artist should, he had a unique perspective on how life should be lived. Even though he confined himself for years into Something and Nothing spaces and only wrote in books to convey his feelings, he still had some spirit left. Even after all the tragedy in his life, he decided that he would stop being complacent. The roughness of his hands symbolizes the toughness of his sprit. He, an artist, still wanted to create something out of his life. Even though he didn't want to hurt his wife, he realized that he had some healing to do for himself.
The fact that the grandfather never took pictures of his wife or even bought life insurance really just confirms the fact that he didn't love her for me. If he really loved her he'd want to make sure that she was safe if he died, hence the life insurance policy. The pictures would have shown that he loves to look at her, but he never took any. It's pretty sad to be honest.
I agree with Steven’s statement about why Oskar’s grandfather never took pictures of his wife or even bought life insurance. He was clearly not in love with her, Anna was the one he had always loved and he only thought of her, even when he was supposed to be sculpting his wife the piece turned out to look like Anna. Also the reason why he never took pictures of her wasn’t a matter of him simply not being someone who takes pictures of things either because when the couple got their apartment he took pictures of everything in it in case if something were to happen to the apartment all of it, even the broken things, could be put back just the way it was. This had made me very sad because Oskar’s grandmother knew all along that he wasn’t in love with her, and once she found out that he was going to leave her she didn’t try very hard to stop him because in the end she wanted him to be happy.
The grandfather took pictures of everything in his apartment, because if he lost those things he'd be able to recreate his surrondings perfectly. He is afraid of change. He's trying to recreate what he had with Ana, with Oskar's grandmother. No matter how hard he trys, it will never be the same. They both know that deep down, he didn't love her. He was in love with the idea that she was the closest thing to Ana. Though she knew this, she still stayed with him because she didn't want to be alone.
The quote, "He promised us everything would be ok...", is significant because it shows how good of a father Thomas was. A father's job is to protect their children from the bad in the world and to not let them worry. Even till Thomas's last day, he was still trying to protect his son and shield the evil in the world.
Oskar's grandfather never took pictures of his wife because he didn't love her and only wanted Anna. It seemed like he held all of his belongings as being worth more than his wife. He also appears to be pretty selfish since he left once Oskar's grandmother told him that she was pregnant. He wanted what he wanted and if something wasn't the way he wanted it, then he seemed to ignore it. At the end of the book, it seems like he feels bad about leaving Oskar's grandma and never being able to meet his son. (It's sad that he came back after Thomas's death instead of coming back to meet his son and create a relationship with him.)
Oskar's grandmother and grandfather moved into a place bigger than their apartment so there could be more room for the animals and more room for the two of them to be apart. His grandfather bought the most expensive insurance for that instead of life insurance to insure his wife. This proves the sadness that they called their marriage. He took pictures of the walls, the rooms, and everything else in the home besides her. To be sadly realistic, he did not care for Oskar's grandmother at all. I believe he reason it mattered for his grandfather's hands to remain rough was because the roughness of his hands were symbolic to the person he once was, which he didn't want to lose. His life as just a sculptor had never left him, just as his love for Anna never did. The roughness of his hands stayed as he left his wife as well.
Oskar's grandfather never took pictures of his wife and never bought life insurance for her because he didn't loved her, only Anna. If he really loved her he would have wanted to be with her all of the time and see her all of the time, which is why he would have taken lots of pictures of her...but he didn't. If he really loved her he'd want to make sure that she'd be okay after he died, and bought her life insurance...but he didn't. It's really sad that Oskar's grandfather never loved his wife, and how selfish he would be. Even after he knew his wife was pregnant he still left. I think it is very selfish and sad.
Oskar's grandfather never took pictures of his wife because he didn't love her. The fact that he never took pictures and they never bought life insurance together shows how unstable their relationship was. He could only see her as less than Anna, and deep down he knew he really didn't love her or want a life with her. This is evident through their lack of doing anything too permanent. I think he didn't want any reminders of her and would be glad to have an excuse to leave their marriage if something bad happened. His actions show how deeply he is trying to fake his love for her.
That statement tells us that after the events in Dresden had happened, neither of them had a strong value on life. They didn’t want proof of their existence together and had no plans for the future as far as children or progression. That while they lived and had each other, the significance of their lives had ended in the bombing of their home. It was important that Thomas’s hands stayed rough because it symbolized how some things can’t wash away with time. Even though he no longer pursued his dream to be a sculptor, he once had. He once loved a girl named Anna, and had parents and a life that even though he tries to move on from, can’t completely get rid of.
When it comes to Oskar's grandmother and grandfather, we have to remember that their relationship was solely based on rules. The grandfather didn't love the grandmother, and the grandmother cared for the grandfather a lot. Their relationship was an attempt to cure their depression that they had ever since the tragedy of Dresden. The fact that Oskar's grandfather took pictures of basically anything and everything besides his wife shows how little of a part she was in his life. He knew she'd never be anything like Anna. He also never bought life insurance because he had nothing to ensure or to live for. This just shows, as Josie said, the very little value they had on life. Oskar's grandfather had such coarse hands from sculpting. His grandfather mostly sculpted sculptures of Anna, so if he lost the roughness from sculpting those, it meant he lost the memories he had with Anna. For this reason, it was important he didn't lost the roughness on his hands. Oskar's grandmother helped in keeping them coarse because she reminded him of Anna but never took her place in his heart.
Oskar's grandfather has always seemed somewhat hesitant about his his wife. When we hear that he never took pictures of her that tells us that Oskar's grandfather didn't want to document memories with her. It also means that he must not want to show her off to other people. Most normal couples have pictures together. The fact that they do not have life insurance shows that Oskar's grandfather honestly doesn't love Oskar's grandmother. If he truly cared about her he wouldn't make rules not allowing them to start a family and would want to make sure she was taken care of no matter what. Those things are both warning signs that he doesn't care about their relationship and his whole heart is not in it. It's sad because Oskar's grandmother sacrificed so much for him.
The quote of the grandmother's father shows everything a true parent does for their child, parents protect their child from the world and try make their children not be sad or scared. The quote tells us that the grandmother's parents truly loved and cared for her. In addition, her mother cries when teaching her about makeup because she was growing up and her mother didn't know if there was going to be another opportunity to do so with the war approaching.
Not buying life insurance makes me think that he didn't care if one or both of them died. Her father believed that everything would be ok which made him a believer and she didn't believe him because she was a realist. Most parents have a habit of making their kids believe everything is going to be alright in a situation where its not but whether the kid is smart enough to know that is up to faith. Her mother cries because her daughter is growing up. First its learning about make up, boyfriends, then having a family or so she thinks. Ana is all grown up practically and so all she has is her. Her crying over make up in Dresden is similar to moms crying at graduations because then you know that your kid is grown up. I wondered when she filled The shower and ruined the day books how he felt about it. Was he sad that years of writing and sort of memories were gone or if he even cared that they existed.
I think the quote "He promised us everything would be ok. i was a child, but I knew that everything would no be okay. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father." is significant because it shows how understanding Oskar's grandmother was of her father and how she may have changed to further understand him in her adulthood. She knew he was only trying to help her when he said that, and he had no intention of trying to lie to her or trick her. Oskar's grandmother saw that it was in her father's best interest to keep her safe and calm despite the circumstances they faced.
When Oskar's grandmother talks to him about his grandfather, it seems like she's very matter-of-fact. After what she said to him about never having pictures taken of her, it shows there might have been nothing real. It especially reveals that the character may have been unloving and not caring. Given the idea of that, it shows that the reason why the Grandmother is always so careful about not losing Oskar, is because she had loss her husband. The relationship between the grandmother and father has seemed to be just that, a relationship with nothing but titles.
Oskar's grandfather never took pictures of his grandmother because he didn't love her. Oskar's grandfather stilled loved Anna so so that's also why he didn't take any pictures of Oskar's grandma. when Oskar's grandfather looked at Oskar's grandma for a short time she reminds him of Anna, but if he took a picture of her then he would have to keep looking at that picture and realize that she is not Anna. i believe that because Oskar's grandpa didn't buy life insurance was because he didn't love Oskar's grandma enough to support her after he passed away.
"He promised us that everything would be ok. I was a child, but I knew that everything would not be ok. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father." This quote is significant because it describes the nature of Oskar's grandmother's father. This tells us that while he did lie to them he did so to make them feel safe so they don't panic too much and get themselves hurt from it.
I think that the quote, "He promised us that everything would be ok. I was a child, but I knew that everything would not be ok. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father," is a very tender truth. Parents are always trying to protect their children above all else, and sometimes that means to protect them from fear. Oskar's grandmother knew that everything was not ok, and her father probably knew it too. In fact, he was probably just as scared as she was, yet he had to put on a facade of tranquility and be strong for her. This quote tells us what a caring father he was.
I believe Oskar's grandpa didn't take pictures of his wife or get life insurance because she wasn't replaceable in his eyes. I'm not disagreeing the fact that he didn't love her, but I think she still meant a lot to him. He took pictures of everything in his house just incase something happened so that it could be just like it was before. He never took pictures of Oskar's grandma because she couldn't be replaced and what she gave him couldn't be replaced. Neither of them loved each other, but they still used each other as a crutch so they could have something in their life. He knew that she was wasting her years with him, willingly, and putting up with all the rules in the relationship because they needed each other. If something ever did happen to her a pile of money wouldn't have provided the companionship that she did, but a house would still hold the memory of her. He went away, leaving his unborn child behind, and then went on to pay for an artificial love from others over the years, but he still came back. After 40+ years away, she still accepted him back because even know she needed him. So they didn't love each other, but she was too important to him to just have a price put on her head.
Her mother cries when she is helping her daughter learn about makeup because she knows it's a harsh world out there, and she doesn't want her daughter to have to be part of it. To me, the mental image of a young girl wearing makeup is a little sad because it sort of signifies the end of innocence, the end of existing for you, and the beginning of existing for others. You feel like you are not enough, and have to make up (makeup) for what you do not have. Her mother is mourning death of the blissful ignorance (innocence) of her daughter.
I some what agree to the previous comments about his grandfather not loving his grandmother. At least he didn't love her as much as he loved Anna. He took pictures of things in case something happened, that way he could replace it all. He couldnt replace her though so there wasn't any need for him to take a picture of her. I also think that they didn't get life insurance because they didn't believe they were worth much. They barely loved themselves just like they barely loved each other. Which is sad but seems like the reality of their marriage.
It's important that Oskar’s grandfather's hands didn't lose their roughness because that would mean Oskar's grandfather lost his reason to live. Oskar’s grandfather loves sculpting. Sculpting is his reason to live and it is what makes his hands rough. Oskar’s grandfather does everything through sculpting. He even tried to sculpt Anna so he could find love again. Sculpting is like Oskar’s grandfather’s final way of communicating with the world. If he loses that he will lose his reason to live. In addition, I think his hands remained coarse because he was always “sculpting” his life. I agree with Melanie when she stated that Oskar’s grandfather has a tough spirit and wants to create something out of his life. For this reason, I think he's sculpting new life which involves leaving his wife behind.
When teaching her about make up, her mother cries for two possible reasons. The first would be the typical mom thing which is that her child is now growing up. The mother sees this and has a mixture of sad and happy emotions that leads to crying. The other possibility would be that the mother sees that her daughter is upset with the way she looks. The daughter believes she's ugly and doesn't even like pictures of herself so she wants to use make up. This would make the mother upset because she wouldn't want her child to feel that way.
If the person you love and are married to doesn't take pictures of you and doesn't buy insurance should be a hint that they don't love you. Their relationship seemed great but underneath it all Oskar's grandfather didn't love the woman that he married. He instead took pictures of every possible thing that insurance could replace even if it was already broken. This is very sad, even garbage was more important to him than his wife. All of the pets that Oskar's grandmother owned reminded her of her husband and she wasn't the one who wanted them anyways. "He promised us that everything would be ok. I was a child, but I knew that everything would not be ok. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father." This quote shows that her father was caring. Trying to shield the family from danger even if it was visible to them.
I find Oskar's grandmother to be a very strong woman to be able to say she married and lived a life with Oskar's grandfather. He 1. Didn't love her, 2. Didn't care what happened to her after he passed, 3. Never even took a picture of her, and 4. Eventually left her in the dust. I guess she was doing the right thing by marrying him and helping him considering he was her sister's intended. I understand his frustration but he did not have to treat her as if she was merely a stranger.
This statement shows that the relationship between Oskar's grandmother and Thomas was very mechanical and lacked love. After all, for Thomas it was a way to relive his relationship with her sister Anna. This also shows that the relationship was not very valuable and that they were not very valuable or prized "possessions" of each other's affections. This could also suggest that they did not see the relationship lasting and that they were simply substitutes for love since Thomas was still too enveloped in the memories that he had with Anna. The only thing keeping their relationship alive was someone that was not even alive herself. This also suggests that Thomas found Anna more beautiful than her sister since pictures are used to capture beauty and if he took pictures of Oskar's grandmother it would mar the beauty of Anna. Additionally, by not buying life insurance it can insinuate that their relationship is dead to each other.
I found the quote "He promised us that everything would be ok. I was a child, but I knew that everything would not be ok. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father," to be important to the novel because a big idea in the novel is how stong a trusting, loving bond between parent and child can be. Parental instinct is to protect your children, even when your children know their fate is out of your grasp. Oskar's grandmother understood that her father couldn't protect her this particular time, but she knew he would do his best to try and that was all that really mattered.
I don't think he didn't take pictures of her and didn't have a life insurance policy because he didn't love her. Oskar's grandmother and Thomas had a unique love for each other- they weren't IN love but they needed each other around. I think Thomas didn't take pictures of Oskar's grandmother because she reminded him so much of Anna. As for the life insurance policy, they tried not to depend on each other so recieving money if one of them died wasn't necessary.
Thomas never took pictures of Oskar's grandmother because he never really had any feelings towards her. I believe that he did actually care about her because they survived on keeping each other company. However, he never truly loved her. He also never took pictures of Oskar's grandmother because of his memory of Anna. She reminded him too much of Anna and would get sad whenever he thought of the resemblance. Also, because he bought no life insurance just shows that their love wasn't real. Their relationship wasn't based on true love, but instead was based on friendship.
Oskar's grandfather never took a single picture of his grandmother, even as he went around the apartment taking pictures of everything from door handles to underneath tables. His purpose was to be able to recreate the apartment exactly how it was before if anything where to happen to it. I think that he never took a picture of Oskar's grandmother because he didn't love her, he cared for her, but he could never love her as he once loved Anna. She reminded him so much of Anna, in a way she was already a recreation of Anna to him just like how he wanted to be able to recreate the apartment. Also, the fact that Oskar's grandfather never got them life insurance further proves his lack of love for Oskar's grandmother.
Oskar's grandfather never took pictures of his wife but he did takes picture of everything in the house. He took pictures of the house to make sure that he could put everything back where it was if anything ever happened. This makes me believe that the grandfather never loved his wife because it seems he cared for the objects more. I also think that he cared for her but he would never love her like he loved Anna. He also never bought life insurance for her, which is sad. I think part of the reason was because they weren't really dependent on each other so he didn't believe in the purpose of buying her life insurance. Another reason could because, like the pictures, he didn't want to make anything permanent with her. By taking pictures and buying insurance it may make he feel like he is trying to replace Anna, which in his eyes is impossible.
Oskar's grandmother states, "He never took pictures of me, and we didn't buy life insurance." This quote shows the faults in Oskar’s grandparents’ relationship. He took pictures of every material thing in the apartment in case it would be stolen or damaged and bought homeowner’s insurance, but he didn’t think it was necessary to take a picture of his own wife or buy life insurance, because he didn’t value their lives. This can be related to his inability to try to live. He was always in love with Oskar’s grandmother’s sister Anna, and nothing could change that. And, after he left her, she released all of the pets because she realized she might be holding them back when they wanted to leave. They were also a haunting reminder of the man she loved, but didn’t return her love.
Oskar's grandfather never taking pictures of his grandmother makes it obvious he has no love for her. For him it's always been Anna even when he decided to spend a portion of his life with her sister. Oskar's grandfather didn't value her as important to not take pictures of her of buy life insurance. Oskar's grandmother was aware of this so when his grandfather left it didn't make her upset because she wanted him to be happy and free. After he left she got rid of all the pets because she knew they were better off free then contained. She knew both of them would never return the love she gave.
Oskar's grandfather never loved his wife. He had one love, and it was Anna. He enjoyed his wife's company, but she would never be enough. Because Oskar's grandfather could not have Anna, he would try to sculpt his wife into Anna. He was unsuccessful. The way he would try to change his wife into somebody else proved to me more than photos and life insurance that Oskar's grandfather did not love his wife. Oskar's grandfather would never truly be content without anyone else besides Anna.
Oskar's grandfather never bought life insurance and never took pictures of his wife because he didn't love her, and loved Anna instead. Although he never said it, it was very obvious that he never loved her and that he will only ever love Anna. Even though he was extremely unhappy, being with her was the closest he'd get to being with Anna. Without her, he would be even more sad. His wife knew this, but she didn't care because she still loved him and would rather be unhappy together than not with him at all.
With Osckar's grandfather never buying life insurance or never took pictures of his grandmother just was another proof of the lack of real love in the relationship. They needed each other at the time but their relationship wasn't real, it was about needing someone not wanting that person. It's not like they were incapable of love because his grandmother truly did love his grandfather it was his grandfather that loved someone before. He loved Anna and he always will, his grandmother reminded him of her. Maybe that's one of the reasons their marriage lasted as long as it did. Like Amelia said he might pf not wanted to buy the life insurance and take pictures of her because it could feel like replacing Anna and he could never do that.
Oskar’s grandfather never taking pictures of his grandmother or getting life insurance while having the highest policy of insurance on everything in the apartment says that he either doesn’t value her like material things, or cannot assign a material value to her. It is important that Oskar’s grandfather’s hands remain course because everything else had changed so much through the years. Oskar’s grandmother got rid of all of the animals in the apartment because she knew they would remind her of Oskar’s grandfather.
If his grandfather never took photos of her or took a life insurance policy out on her then it proves the fact that he didn't really love her. His marriage was because he wanted the idea of still having Anna, but at the same time his wife is not Anna and he couldn't love her like he did Anna. If he would of tried to or live up to the fact that he says he loves her then he would of provided her with the security of the life insurance policy or have the photos to document her forever. In his mind, his wife was just a tie to try and hang on to the idea of having Anna. Once you fall in love with someone, like his grandfather did, and you lose them you want to hold on to them in any way you can and marrying Anna's sister was that way for him. In all honesty, it's a sad matter because both of them knew they never really loved each other but didn't want to be alone.
The significance of the quote, "He promised us that everything would be ok. I was a child, but I knew that everything would not be ok. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father.", is to show how strong of a person his father is. Obviously I'm not a father, but if I were ever a parent I wouldn't want my children to know/see that anything bad was going on, I wouldn't want them to worry. Also, it shows that he understands that about his father. He knew that things weren't going well, but his father didn't want him knowing. He respected him for that. His father is a very strong person and tried to make everything good for the family, even if he had to fake it for a while.
When she said "He never took pictures of me, and we didn't buy life insurance." she was pretty much saying that they didn't have any kind of commitment to each other. The statement about what be father said is just what parents say. When they know something bad is going on they still tell their children that everything will be okay. I think that her mother cries while putting make up on her because she is realizing that her little girl is growing up. She releases all of the pets because her husband left her,and the pets remind her of him.
Oskar's grandfather never took pictures of her or bought life insurance because he never truly loved her. Why take pictures to look at a woman that only reminds you of the woman you actually love but can no longer have? Why insure the life of someone that wouldn't break your heart if they died? Those must have been the questions that went through his head. Though very sad and cold-hearted, it made sense. You really gotta feel for that poor woman though. She really tried her best for someone that didn't care.
Oskar’s grandfather never took pictures with his wife because he didn’t care enough to remember her. Pictures are things we create in order to be able to look back and smile at our loved ones and past adventures. Oskar’s grandfather didn’t care enough to create those memories to begin with, so what need was there to take pictures in the first place? It has been apparent since reading the letter that the relationship between Oskar’s grandparents was distant and nearly void of affection. Ana comforted him only because she reminded him of her sister, the one he was truly in love with. It is a perfect example of a love that is only skin deep.
While reading through all of the grandparents rules, I thought there were a lot that were unnecessary and seemed to make their marriage not a marriage. I understand why they made a rule to not have children, but I would argue that they should have talked about whether they wanted one or not. After a couple years of their "marriage", they still didn't make much of an effort to change their rules. In my opinion, I would argue that all of their pets were a distraction from the rule of not having children. As stated in the novel from Grandmother, "I needed a child"(177), she was lonely and needed someone to love her for real. So when she secretly became pregnant and her husband left her, she got rid of all their pets.
It was important that Oskar's grandfather didn't lose the roughness in his hands because the roughness was caused by his sculpting. His art form was a part of who he was once and he didn't want to let go of who he was because he doesn't know who he is now.
Oskar's grandfather didn't take pictures of his grandmother or buy life insurance because he never loved her. Oskar's grandfather was afraid of change. He took pictures of everything in the apartment so he could recreate them at least in his head- purposely excluding her grandmother. Oskar's grandfather only married her because it was the closest thing to Anna he could get, and at the given moment, he had no one else. Oskar's grandmother felt opposite of what his grandfather felt, but she wanted him and everyone else (the animals) around her feel happy. so she let them go.
I agree with what everyone else said about Oskar's grandfather. That he never truly was in love with his wife, that he was still stuck on Anna. This is shown when he doesn't buy life insurance and doesn't take pictures of his wife. In addition, all the rules that Oskar's grandfather and grandmother had seemed to only distance them from each other. However, I agree with what Danielle said, that he definitely held her close. He ended up returning more than 40 years later, and she took him back, because she knew that they needed each other too much to pretend that what they had meant nothing.
Oskar's grandfather never took pictures of his wife because he didn't feel the same for her as he did for Anna. When he looked at Oskar's grandmother, he saw Anna. His mind created a world where he was happy with Anna, but since Anna was gone, it covered with the grandmother. Pictures would provide realistic evidence that his wife was not Anna, therefore deepening the realization and depression caused by the loss of his one and only true love. As if never capturing the memories of his marriage with Oskar's grandmother was harsh enough, his carelessness beams in the fact that they never invested in life insurance. If she were Anna, his grandfather would give her the world and nothing less.
If I were on one of Mr. Black's cards, I would have the word "volleyball" written next to my name. I know that your sport doesn't necessarily define you and it's not the most important thing in the world. On the other hand, volleyball helps to shape me into who I am. I spend almost all of my time in the gym, playing the sport that I love. I sacrifice a lot for volleyball: my time, my energy, my social life, and things along those lines. It's kind of strange, accepting the fact that my whole existence is summed up to just that one word, but I think that it's the truth. I like to think that I'm so much more than a volleyball player, but that's what I'm known as. I don't mean that in a cocky way or anything like that, it's just my generalization. "Isabelle Marciniak, that volleyball player?" My attitude about all of this may seem a bit bitter, but I don't mean to be. I truly love my crazy, busy, volleyball-filled life, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Oskar's grandmother states, "He never took pictures of me, and we didn't buy life insurance." This shows the lack of respect and love in the relationship between Oskar's grandmother and grandfather. He bought the most expensive insurance for his home and photographed everything in it, even down to the doorknobs. Still his grandmother tells him that their marriage wasn't unhappy, but she never said it was happy. She said he could make her laugh and she could make him laugh, but it didn't seem like she was describing a marriage. The quote shows how different their relationship was compared to any normal, happy family.
"He promised us that everything would be ok. I was a child, but I knew that everything would not be ok. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father." This quote seems to accurately describe what parenthood is, or well should be. Parents want to protect their children from harm, the quote shows how much they cared for her. The quote is similar to the situation Oskar's mother is in. She wants to protect her son and does whatever she can to do so.
I agree with the previous comments. Oskar's grandfather was always very hesitant about his grandmother. He never seemed to love her the way he did her sister. If anything, the time they spent together felt like something that was more a necessity then something they wanted. They both needed each other to get through life, but he knew that he did not really want her in a way she would want him too. Perhaps he didn't photograph her because he didn't want any proof. He wanted to avoid any documentation of their relationship or life together. He never valued her as he did every other object in his home. It seems that although he told her that she was 'something' he seemed to truly understand that to him she was 'nothing'. He wanted everything in his life, but Oskar's grandmother was necessary as well as proof that Anna was dead. So by not photographing her, it appeared at least to others that his life did not involve her.
"He promised us that everything would be ok. I was a child, but I knew that everything would not be ok. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father." I believe this part of the novel was included as a link between Oskar's grandmother and himself. As Jennifer explained, fathers tend to feel a natural compulsion of protecting their children from harm. One of the greatest harms a child can experience is seeing their parents weak. Just as her father wanted to protect her from the truth that everything would in fact be far from ok, Thomas did the same to Oskar. By reassuring his son over the phone repeatedly, Thomas believed he was protecting Oskar from further pain. I believe this hurt Oskar in the long run, he understood why his father felt the need to make matters seem better than reality, but at the moment he needed something more. He needed to know he was loved. Thomas' best way to express that love, was to shield Oskar from the inevitable.
I believe that the statement, "He never took pictures of me, and we didn't buy life insurance," shows that Oskar’s grandfather never truly loved Oskar’s grandma. He obsessed over fully documenting all of his materialistic possessions down to the finest detail, but he never made sure that she was protected. I think that this is a separation that was common in their relationship because Oskar’s grandfather couldn’t get over his love of Anna therefore never getting close to Oskar’s grandma.
"He promised us that everything would be ok. I was a child, but I knew that everything would not be ok. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father." A father is supposed to be the strong, supportive male figure in the family. He is supposed to be a leader, to appear calm, cool, and collected in the face of certain danger- you know, acting manly and all. I agree with what Oskar is saying, his statement doesn't necessarily make him a liar. His father was trying to be reassuring in an effort to calm him down. He wanted his son to feel at ease, even if he didn't feel that way himself. It's the fathers job (most of the time, no disrespect to mothers!) to keep everyone under control. When he told Oskar that, he wasn't trying to be a liar, he was just trying to do his job as a father and make his son feel better.
When Oskar's grandfather takes the pictures of the apartment instead of his wife it shows that she means little compared to where they are staying. That his place means a lot more than the women that loved him. But when he didn't get life insurance he was not think of any protection for her. When the person left after taking pictures he wrote, "better safe than sorry." He didn't trust anyone and he could not handle the change. It shows when he takes the pictures of the door knob's. Shutting people out and not excepting change.
Oskar's grandmother states, "He never took pictures of me, and we didn't buy life insurance." This statement tells us that Oskar's grandfather never really loved his grandmother. What other reason would he have to not take pictures of his own wife and to buy life insurance to make sure she would be safe when he eventually passed away. He took pictures of everything in his apartment so he could recreate that image if anything was lost or stolen but not his wife. He never loved her for her true self.
"He never took pictures of me, and we didn't buy life insurance." Both of these statements show that their relationship was lacking commitment. Yes, they were married, and yes, they lived together. The thing is, they didn't have those true feelings of being committed to one another. They were together because they both needed companionship, not because they needed each other. The grandmother did things in order to please the grandfather because she truly cared about him and what he wanted. On the other hand, the grandfather only did things to please the grandmother because he felt obligated to, not necessarily because he cared for her. Their "feelings" weren't mutual, they never really knew how to treat one another. At first, maybe, but the feelings faded fast. Pretty soon, they were left only with a list of rules and large spaces that didn't exist at all.
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