Why is Oskar so interested in Gerald's daughters and his relationship with them?
What does Oskar mean when he refers to digging up his dad's coffins as "a simple solution to an impossible problem"?
Why isn't his mom angry or curious about his late night trip to the cemetery?
His mother tells him that his dad had called her. What does this do for Oskar? Why doesn't he share with her about the messages he hid from her?
What does Oskar's reversal of the pictures and the imagined reversal of time remind you of?
The chapter was entitled "Beautiful and True". What is beautiful and true about this chapter?
11 comments:
Throughout the novel, Ron is minimally mentioned by Oskar since he's not someone Oskar particularly likes. He rejects Ron because he doesn't want Ron to become a substitute father, for fear of having his father's memory lost or written over. I can relate to how Oskar feels, because when my parents were newly divorced and I was introduced to my mom's boyfriend, I resented him for the same reason. But like Oskar, I eventually found similarities between him and myself and we formed a friendship. Oskar learned Ron met his mother in a therapy group, and could begin bonding with him over having lost family members. I think in the future, Oskar and Ron could form a strong relationship - and it doesn't have to be a father/son relatonship. My relationship with my mom's boyfriend is nothing even close to parent/child, but I know his presence in my home has made part of my split family feel more whole. Oskar would deserve that in his life.
The interaction between Oskar and Ron at dinner is important because finally, it seems, Oskar finds a way to relate to the man who he so adamantly has disliked. Oskar discovers that, much like his family, Ron has experienced incredible loss. He learns that his mother and Ron met in a therapy group for those who had lost someone, and that was how their friendship began. I think this is crucial for Oskar because it could help him realize that, although he doesn't have to really like Ron all that much, they have something in common- and that one thing in common could branch into other things, and those other things could potentially form some sort of understanding-if-not-mutual-liking for one another. Regardless, it was a big step for Oskar to even want to talk to Ron, much less learn about the baggage he carried.
At the end of the novel, when everything is being listed backwards and Oskar takes everything out of "Things That Happened To Me" and put them in reverse order, it reminded me a lot of the dream that his Grandma had. I thought this was a very interesting end to the book, but appreciated it nonetheless. I wonder if that was supposed to serve as a type of closure- that he couldn't change what happened in reality, but could imagine it going the other way? I'm not sure. I'd like to hear some other thoughts.
Though I thought it was kind of anticlimactic, I still really liked the ending. The only real problem I have with it is how Oskar's grandfather leaves the letters in the grave, I just don't fully get the sediment, especially since he's not in the coffin. I like how Oskar's mother tells him how she talked to his dad on the day of his death, unknowingly making him feel less guilty through it. I like the idea that his mother trusts him enough to not be angry he came home at 4 in the morning. I also like how things don't all get completely resolved, it's hard to say if Oskar really will get better after this chapter, and we still don't know how things are gonna go between Oskar's grandparents. I don't know, it just sort of shows the uncertainty of life in a sort of non-threatening way and I haven't seen that before, but I'm still unsure what to make of it other than I like it and find it interesting.
When I read the rewinding part at the end of the book I imagined bombings in WW2, bombs unexploding and going back up into the sky where they get pulled into a bomb bay of heavy bombers, travelling backwards through the sky and their propellers turning backwards like Oskar said. I don't know why I imagined that, I remember it from somewhere. I spent time looking back through this book and checking the chapters that discussed the Dresden bombings but I didn't find anything. I thought it was part of this book. Maybe I was being too cursory on my examination but I can't find this in the book. I have this very vivid image and I can't tell where it's coming from. Now it's really bothering me because that's what the scene reminded me of but I don't know what "that" is.
I think this chapter was titled "Beautiful and True" because of the relationship between Oskar and his mother. It really touched my heart how they mended things and finally sat down and talked about it. His mom reveals that his dad actually did call her on September 11th, but lied and told her he was okay so she wouldn't worry. Oskar finally finds it in his heart to forgive, which was heartwarming and also a relief because it was almost getting annoying watching him relentlessly hate his mother. I love their newly rekindled relationship. It was so sweet. Oskar's mother is crying into the night due to the emotional stress and reliving the experience of her husband's death. Oskar, being forgiving and listening, tells his mother that it's okay to fall in love again, but she says she won't. That part nearly made me tear up because it was so heartbreaking. I can't even begin to imagine her grief.
Oskar's interaction with Ron in this story was really helpful to understand how Oskar's mother and Ron met and their relationship with each other. It is revealed that they met at a therapy group dealing with lost family members. Oskar finds that Ron is struggling with loss as well and even watches as Ron cries at the table. I think this was extremely important to Oskar and Ron's relationship and gave it a positive turn. Before, Oskar disliked Ron and could not believe his mother was seeing someone else so soon after his father's death. By learning a bit about Ron's past, Oskar finds a way to relate with him and understand the reason behind his presence in his life.
The relationship between Oskar and his mother is beautiful and now true because they were honest with one another. Oskar is learning to trust his mother again. He is learning to love and forgive her. Their relationship is mending and their lives have more meaning because they are being true with each other. The whole idea of this is amazing. They were able to forgive and try to remember the goodness. They are learning to come to one another with their thoughts and feeling, and work together to mend their love. They are working for the rest of their lives to become more trusting of one another. They are learning to forgive and forget. And it is beautiful and true, just like the title of the chapter.
What is so important about the interaction between Ron and Oskar?
Oskar’s interaction with Ron is important because throughout the story, Oskar made it clear he didn’t like Ron, he saw Ron as a threat because he didn’t like the thought of his mother being close to a man that wasn’t his father. When he found out that they met in a therapy group I think Oskar saw a new side of Ron and realized that his mom was helping Ron, and Ron was helping his mom.
What does Oskar’s reversal of the pictures and the imagined reversal of time remind you of?
It makes me think about all of the letters that Oskar's grandfather wrote to his unborn child and buried in Oskar’s father's casket. It makes me wonder about going back in time to change something.
Oskar's mother isn't angry or curious about his late night trip to the cemetery because she knows where he is going. She always knows what he's doing and where he is going. For example, she called all of the Mr./Mrs. Blacks to make sure that he would be safe with them. Their relationship is something made of trust. As well as Oskar's mother understands Oskar a lot. She believes in him and that he will do the right thing, but she is also always making sure that her son is okay. Their relationship is something that is different from most other mother and son relationships.
It is important that Oskar is able to see how Ron suffers from loss because it helps him to relate to Ron. It helps Oskar to find a connection to Ron, a common ground, when before he just seemed to reject him. He rejected him simply because he rejected the idea of having a father figure in his life who wasn't his father.
Oskar's mother is not angry about his trip to the cemetery because as we learned earlier, she already knows where he goes. She still believes that he needs to continue following his curiosity and that that's what's best for him.
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