Who do you think is the "stupid son of a bitch" that her grandfather is referring to while tending to the Marshall? What was the real cause of his illness?
Her grandfather makes two rather cryptic statements: "You'll be leaving God out of it, then," followed closely by, "With children, you're on your own." Explain what he means here.
How does one develop "nonchalance in the face of death"? Why do doctors need this attitude? Is it a healthy attitude for doctors to have? Does it make them better doctors?
What do you make of the story of the lake-house fire? Why is this such an important memory for the narrator? Why does her grandfather choose the day after the fire to continue the story of the deathless man? is there a connection?
What is your take on visions of iconic religious figures in everyday items (Jesus in a French fry, Mary in a bagel, etc.)? Do you believe these claims when you hear them? Have you seen one in person? How do you react to these sorts of claims?
Why does the deathless man feel that his situation is punishment? What makes it feel like punishment?
20 comments:
One develops "nonchalance in the face of death" in my opinion, by dealing with death a numerous amount of times. After seeing someone die or feeling the loss of someone close you begin to adapt to it. Also, it is some way people cope with death and try to learn how to deal with losing a loved one. Doctors need to have this attitude as a part of their job, so they don't get attached to their patients. They have to deal with death almost every single day and being nonchalant when someone dies can make their job be a little easier. I feel as if this does not only make them better doctors but can help them with their own life outside of work. It can help them grow, cope, and be stronger individuals. Doctors are part of the strongest work forces in the entire world,and being able to deal with death everyday makes them even stronger.
When older people, or people in general gather together in places such as VFW, or bingo, it tells us about our human nature. We as humans like to be part of a group that shares common interests. For instance, at the VFW, it is generally older people who may be lonely, or struggling with something. When you gather with someone who is going through what you are also going through, that time together may serve as therapeutic. Additionally, it gives us insight of how humans act as a group in society. We tend to only associate, or are more comfortable around with those of common interests, and we are more likely to get along with them.
It seems to be common nature for people, whether they are old or young, to get together and tell stories and reminisce on the past. My grandpa used to tell some of the best stories about all the crazy things he would do when my mom would bring my dad over to my grandpa and grandmas house. My grandma still tells stories of from when my mom was little and more often than not, things get repeated and you'll hear the same story 5 plus times. Even my parents with get together with friends and tell endless stories that can have everyone bent over laughing. I think getting together with friends, is almost therapeutic even if it isn't meant to be. There is something so nice about thinking and sharing some of your favorite memories with some of your favorite people. However, I feel a lot of people like to live in the past and will get too caught up on things that have happened instead of things that could happen. Sometimes I even find myself thinking of things in the past that I wish I could relive or change it. It is hard when you look at something that isn't as good as it used to be. For example, you could have two best friends and think about the countless nights you would keep each other up texting or spending the night at each others houses and raiding the fridge at 2:30 in the morning. You will think of all the great times you had together, yet now you hardly talk, you are afraid that you will be judged for every little thing you do around them, and things just aren't the way they used to be. Another example would be, lets say you made a new friend and the two of you managed to get insanely close over the past year. One day, they just stop talking to you and you are left wondering what you did wrong even though you know you didn't do anything. With both of those scenarios taken into account, you still have endless stories with the people even though they may not be as big of a part in your life anymore. With that all being said, getting together and telling stories from the past, only make us more human as we want to share and learn from each other.
The deathless man is punished my not being able to die, while his love was able to die. He betrayed his uncle, death, by smashing the cup to allow her to live when she was very sick and certain to die. His uncle turned his head for their love but, told Gavran Gaile that he would only do so once. A few years later his love became deathly sick again and was certain to die. He smashed the cup like he had done before to allow her to live but, his uncle did not let this one go unnoticed. He didn't allow the girl to live but let her die. However, death would not let Gavran Gaile die at any point in his life. He would be separated from his love forever. This is punishment to him because he will not be reunited with his love after death because there will never be death for him, the deathless man.
I feel like not only do older people get together to reminisce, but so do all other ages. Us as human beings, love to communicate. We love to have relationships, and to know that people may be going through similar struggles. My grandma for instance goes to the pool, and thats when she shares all her stories. My grandpa on the other hand, tells stories to only his family, considering is a very quite man. Both of my parents tells us stories all of the time! About how they met, what there childhood was like growing up, their favorite pet. But when they go to meet up with friends, they go to the bar, or game night. Me with my friends just have a movie night. Theres just something about telling stories, and making people laugh or seeing that they understand you makes you feel safe, and more human. We humans, are social. We live for that connection. We don't like to be alone. we want to feel needed.
When going into a profession where you'll witness death frequently, you have to develop a nonchalant attitude towards death. I think it takes witnessing so many people dying in order to develop that attitude. Doctors need to have such an attitude to do their job to the best of their abilities. I imagine becoming emotionally attached to patients would make their jobs much more difficult, especially if the patient ends up dying. Any sort of connection with patients in such a field may lead to emotional burnout, hence why it's probably better to have that nonchalant attitude. I do think that it definitely allows them to better doctors, but I'm sure it takes a huge toll on them mentally.
When people get together after a long time to talk, they are usually about good things. People don't want to relive terrible experiences every time they are with a certain friend group. No matter the age, everyone enjoys talking about the past. It is a time where you can bond with people even more, even if it was something that took place years before. It's a healthy way for people to remember without being stuck in the past. Even though it is a good thing to talk with people about earlier experiences, there is a point where it could be harmful to someone if they are spending their time thinking about the past and not the future.
When people talk about seeing iconic figures, it is kind of hard to find the right reaction to have. Some of you wants to be all in with them because it must be some sort of sign from the iconic figure. The other half of you is more skeptical of the legitimacy of the whole thing. You weren't eve able to see the figure until someone pointed it out to you, or maybe your eyes were just tricking you into seeing something that wasn't really there. It would be a tough choice to pick a side because both are very debatable. I have never had an experience like this, but if I were to be a part of one, it would able very difficult for me to choose.
I think that if you’re around death often you just end up being numb to the pain that is associated with it. Doctors need the attitude because if they weren't numb to the pain then it would affect their day-to day work and also their mentality in the long-run. I mean seriously, imagine seeing a bunch of dead people in your life, there's no way that it wouldn't mess with you. I don’t know if it would make them a better doctor but I could only imagine how shaken up they’d be when they have their first patients die on their watch.
I have heard of many occurrences where my grandparents and parents have gone to reunions with friends and acquaintances from their pasts. I think reunions are healthy and a great way to reconnect with people. It is nice to see people you may not have seen in many years and see how they have changed and where they are now. Meeting up with old friends is not only fun but it can also renew a close relationship.
Death is one of the hardest things living people have to cope with. We don't understand death, and we don't know what lies beyond, so it's reasonable to fear it. Being someone in a profession where death isn't an uncommon encounter, it's necessary to understand the role death plays in life. "Nonchalance in the face of death" isn't just to stop fearing death, but to understand death is a necessary part of life and not every patient can be saved. Hearing stories from many family members in the medical profession, most of whom have witnessed death or those who have come very close to it, people know when they're going to die. When someone is dying, as a medical professional you have two options: tell them they're dying or lie to them and say they're just fine. It may feel right to tell them they'll live so you can give them every shred of hope possible, but in lying to them you're only making yourself feel better because you don't want your patient to die. When people know they're at death's door, there's no point in telling them otherwise. More often than not, someone close to death is very calm and accepting of their fate. Only when the living can face death in this way are they truly "nonchalant in the face of death".
For doctors, it is very important to have a nonchalance look o death. Not every person they are helping is going to make it. If they were connected with there patients or were scared of death it would be very hard for them to do the job they are doing. In my opinion, it does make them better doctors. They can have complete focus on helping the patients, rather than being caught up in their emotions.
As someone who has a paramedic and firefighter as parent, nonchalance is a common thing to see in every situation. Growing up in such a household, I witnessed my Dad's reactions to scary situations and it always perplexed me. My father is calm, cool, and collected in even the nastiest of situations. I never knew why or how he could do it, but he did. People like doctor's need this attitude in order to save others lives while also living with their own. If they can't save the lives of another, they have to remember that they did the best they could and that death is a natural process of life. Putting each individual life on their own shoulders would be too much for anyone to carry. Nonchalance also allows the mind to focus as well as brings tranquility to the people around those who convey it. This is extremely important for working on a patient who could be causing more problems, due to anxiety and a raised blood pressure. Allowing yourself to remain calm will also allow you to think more clearly and more precisely execute difficult tasks that could save a person's life in the long run. You would want a relaxed doctor who knows what he/she is doing compared to a frantic doctor who is the opposite right?
Older people get together and reminisce because, as humans, we have a tendency to hold onto things. Memories, grudges, pain, guilt- we're a very sentimental species, and I think having other people to help build and share your memories with only strengthens them. Gatherings like this show us that we're always going to seek out those we can relate to. We're always seeking connections to strengthen our world view. I think that Natalia's grandfather, in talking of how with children you're on your own, means that though doctor's can become nonchalant in the face of death of an adult patient, you can never truly adjust to seeing children die, especially at your own hands. It's something that would weigh on you forever, because, as he said, children are so hopeful and optimistic. I can't imagine the kind of strength it takes to operate on kids or to do that work.
I agree with Arianna. It's extremely difficult and different when dealing with children than with adults. With adults, they tend to lose the childlike innocence, enthusiasm, and energy. They don't feel as much remorse when the begrudgingly, defeated adults lose their lives. Its a tough job and something excruciating to deal with, the loss of a child at your own hands.
I think the vision of religious likeliness in everyday objects is kind of ridiculous. I think in bigger, more meaningful objects, it makes more sense to me, but not in typical items like a bagel or French fry.
I think doctors definitely benefit from having nonchalance in the face of death in their work. I think this helps them maintain professionalism and keep their emotions out of their work. It can be unhealthy to be too indifferent to death, but having a little tolerance is definitely a good thing in that kind of job.
I think the deathless man feels punished by having to live forever because his true love died and he was stuck never being allowed the same fate. I'm not sure if he mentioned religion, but if he believes in an afterlife, it must kill him (emotionally) to never be able to reach the afterlife with his soulmate. He knows that would be the only way that he would ever be able to see her again, and to be robbed of that would be extremely painful.
The "nonchalance in the face of death", I believe comes with having dealt with it so many times. Working in the medical field in general, there's a lot of death. People can develop a dark sense of humor or just an indifference to death. I also believe that no matter how many times someone has dealt with death it still weighs heavily on the mind. People can not be scared of death and they can accept it but until they know and feel that it's their time to go, I don't think there's necessarily a "nonchalance."
As explained by Natalia's grandfather, kid's look at the world in a different manner than adults. Unlike kids, adults can have many reasons that they don't want to die. For example, a mother or father can have kids to look after. If they died, their kids would become parentless, and most likely become fosters. A businessman might have an important to deal to close, where if he dies his whole corporation will go bankrupt. Grandparents have their grandchildren to support, and if they die, will depress the grandchildren. Kids, don't have any reason to cling on. They aren't old enough to have a job, or to have kids of their own. They might be looking forward to a future event but that's about it. In total, Adults can have many things where they feel if they die will fail, but kids' don't have the same feelings.
I think old people get together to reminisce because memories are your most valuable possession and keeping them alive is the same thing as keeping your past and who you are alive. These gatherings show that humans are sentimental and sympathetic. I think the “stupid son of a bitch” that Natalia’s grandfather is referring to is perhaps the local remedy doctor who gave the Marshall (who has appendicitis) raw mint as treatment. I think what the grandpa means by “With children, you’re on your own,” is that it hurts others more than it hurts them when they are dying because they do not know what is happening. Their naivety gives them blind hope, which is in vain, but they don’t know it. I think the lake-house fire was an important memory for Natalia because it showed her grandfather’s attachment to rituals of the past in his aging condition. Also, I like what that lady said to Natalia when she was putting out the fire with the hose because it shows that no matter how stressful a situation, people are still people. I think the deathless man’s punishment is the worst punishment imaginable- everyone he will ever get close to will die, and he will have to move on without them, until he finds someone else, who will die, etc. And with his knowledge from all the time he’s been alive, he must watch history unfold and repeat itself and he can do nothing to change it.
My grandparents had a cottage near Dexter on a small lake where they would sit on the porch for hours at end. They would tell stories and even when I was to young to follow all of the details I would listen because it was a sign of respect towards my elders. my grandfather would sit with his shirt unbuttoned and usually had a cigarette in hand and we would play poker. I feel like the story telling was important because if stories about your past, your heritage aren't passed down to future generations, then you are doing your ancestors a grave injustice. A story is how someone lives on past their death. As humans we don't want to be forgotten.
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