What is significant about the name "Barbour"? What might it symbolize?
Once at the Barbour's home, the father, mother, and Andy all treat him quite differently. Which of these treatments might you prefer in Theo's position? Why?
What makes the choice to stay with the Barbour family appear to have been a really good choice? Give some specifics that make it appear to be a good place for Theo at this time.
Theo describes the Barbour home in less-than-flattering terms, as does his father in the past. It is said to feel like a funeral home, and Theo finds that comforting. Why comforting?
At the end of section iii, Theo tells us, "Over and over, I kept thinking I've got to go home and then, for the millionth time, I can't." What does he mean by this? Explain.
Why do you think Tom Cable treats Theo the way he does when he returns to school?
What is significant about all the advice and comforting words the school staff give to Theo? What does this do for him?
In lieu of staying with the grandparents due to Dorothy's "back ailment", his grandparents offer to put him up in a Holiday Inn. What does this suggest about them?
I know we don't know yet,..but what is significant about the name "Blackwell"? Why do you think the name and the ring are of such interest to Mrs. Barbour?
On p. 98, Andy offers the following quote: "Nature red in tooth and claw." Where is this quote from? How is it appropriate to the situation?
Why do you think the grandparents are so reticent to take him in? He's 13, not 3...how much work could that be? Heck, he could probably even help...
While the Barbours have plenty of resources to help care for Theo, this doesn't seem to be a great place for him. Why does that appear to be true? Give some examples.
In the police interview at the school, why can't Theo remember details that he has already related to us and can recall right after the interview? Why don't those who are there to act as advocates for him actually step up and advocate more for him in this scene?
Can you see any symbolism in the Whitman poem? How might it tie into the story? What does the allusion to Macbeth mean?
What about the funeral...?
Although far from being motherly, in what ways does Mrs. Barbour display motherly traits towards Theo?
Do a quick search for Billy Budd. What is that story about? How might it relate to this story?
How do you predict the ring will come into play? And Hobie? He seems to be an intriguing character already...
104 comments:
The end of section iii is pretty significant, and something that any child in this situation would say or think. When Theo says “I’ve got to go home”, he means simply that he wants to go home, back to the apartment with his mother and the way his life once was. He misses his old lifestyle. He misses his mom. Living with the Barbour’s is a completely different way of life from what he once knew. By saying, “I can’t”, reality hits him as he once again realizes over and over that his life will never be the same and he will never feel “at home” again. That life is over and he must somehow accept that this is his new life. It is all still new for him and he finds himself forgetting at times what has happened, almost daydreaming, and then all too suddenly, he snaps back into his new reality.
Theo has limited knowledge of his grandparents and they in turn have limited knowledge of him. Although they are his father’s dad and stepmom, since Theo’s father does not play a major role in his life, neither do the grandparents. There really is not a strong relationship or bond between Theo and his grandparents and clearly, his grandparents have made little effort into forming any type of relationship through the years. It is not suitable for a boy his age to live in a hotel. He is still practically a child and needs to be taken care of and have some guidance through those tough teen years. Theo probably felt alone and that no one wanted him, almost like a burden to everyone. This all suggests they have little interest in Theo. Clearly, while his grandparents want to make sure Theo has a place to live probably because after all, it is their son’s child and how would it look if they made no provisions at all for him, they have no intention of interrupting their child-free lifestyle and making room for a teenage boy and the challenges that that may bring.
I think Tom cable avoids Theo at first because he honestly doesn't know what to say to him. Some people are awkward when their peers are dealing with grief and I get that because everyone deals with loss in different ways. Also the type of relationship they had as jokingly insulting each other (as many friends do) Tom probably didn't want to accidentally say something that would offend Theo. Sometimes you don't even know what to say to them besides "I'm sorry for your loss" which you know they are probably sick of hearing it. I think Tom thought it was just best to leave him alone and let him cope.
In Theo's situation I definitely wouldn't want to go to live with his grandparents. They haven't shown any interest in him and they seem to be making up stories about how they can't take care of him and they really showed how much they didn't want him there by saying they'd just shove him the a Holiday Inn. I think Theo's situation with the Barbour's is the best one he could be in. He could be waiting months to be adopted or he could be put in a bad foster home, so the quick acceptance by the Barbour's is comforting, even though he isn't treated in a normal fashion whilst in their home. In addition, from the moment we meet Hobie he already seems to be a great man, and eventually becomes my favorite character.
The Barbour home is said to feel like a funeral home, which Theo finds comforting. I think this is one of the reasons it’s a good place for Theo to be. He can grieve for his mother. The Barbours give him time and don’t bother him about his mother’s death. They also don’t expect him to cheer up right away. In addition, they try to make sure that Theo is comfortable. Mrs. Barbour helps Theo when he has to answer questions and helps shield him from things like the press. Their home is also quiet, which I’m sure is a big help to Theo. I don’t think he’d do well in a loud environment.
At the end of section iii Theo says he needs to go home but he can't. I don't find this unusual because living this whole new life without his mother is hard to get used to. He feels that he needs to go back home to see his mother and live his normal life, this makes him remember that he no longer has a home of his own and that his life is all turned around. He can't go back and see his mother everyday and live comfortably in his old apartment. The Barbours have tried their best to make him at home but he cannot get comfortable living a new life and being a part of their family. This just causes him to remember his mother more often and cause him more stress.
I think that the reason Theo’s grandparents are so reticent to take him in is because they don’t feel the connection with his as family. Theo even admitted to his social worker that the words Grandma and Grandpa meant false assumption of warmth and familiarity. Theo hadn’t seen in grandparents in years and the fact that they had disconnected themselves from him and his mother hadn’t helped either. Dorothy, Theo’s grandfather’s wife, had apparently gotten extremely ill and told social services that Theo could stay in the Holiday Inn near their house. It is obvious that his so called grandparents have no sympathy for Theo or the fact that their daughter had just died. Theo also describes the fact that his grandparents would look at him as a random kid at the mall with no relation to them whatsoever. He said it is unimaginable living with them because to him, they are strangers who don’t want the burden of a taking him in.
In Theo's situation I would want to be left alone to my thoughts which is essentially how Andy treats Theo. He said' "Wow... Disturbing." Which it was but really there was nothing more to say. I wouldn't want to relive the death of my mother and Andy wasn't pestering him for answers or explanations. I would want to be left alone with my thoughts. When Theo is questioned at school he can't remember the details because 1. It was a traumatic event and I'm sure he doesn't enjoy reliving it and 2. He's terrified that the reason he is called for questioning is because he stole the painting of the bird.
In legal terms, family should trump friends, and Theo knows this. However, in a case like Theo's, it is imperative to preserve the emotions of the child and make sure that the child is comfortable, above all else. This is why Theo ended up staying with Andy. Both the social workers and Andy's teachers questioned him multiple times about staying with his grandparents, and each time they asked, Theo was eager to decline their offer. Theo hadn't been in contact with his grandparents in quite some time, and he also knew that he would just be a hindrance and burden upon his grandparent's life. Because of this, Theo had to think of the next best thing - Andy. Theo knew that he and Andy had had some good times in recent years, and Theo was hoping to reconnect with anyone who would listen and be wiling to. In essence, Andy was the only person that Theo felt comfortable with, besides his mother. And since her untimely death, Andy and his family seemed to be the next best thing to normality for him.
The reason that it wouldn't be more comfortable for Theo to go to family over friends is that his family never showed any interest in him and he , like most people feels like he would be forgotten about and that definitely wouldn't be good for him. People that don't know Theo or anything that happened to him won't have the idea in their brain of pitying him or constantly babying him because of his loss. Theo just needs to go where he can live a life as normally as possible because it would be the best for him. When Theo goes to the Barbour home, he finds it comfortable even with the feel of a funeral home because he probably feels closer to his mother. After all, Theo was pretty close to his mom and the Barbour home could be better feeling/looking than that of Theo's description. At moments Theo can give a bad perspective on things because of his point of view and it makes places/things like the Barbour home seem different than they might actually be.
When the grandparents offer to put him up in a Holiday Inn, it shows that they don't want him to be with them and that they will do everything they can to make him not stay with them. (It is so unfortunate that he couldn't stay with them even though the hotel could definitely be better than staying in their house). During the police interview at the school, Theo can't remember details until right after the interview because either he didn't want to tell them or it could've been caused by the stress of the interview. The people that were acting as his advocates should've stepped up but didn't probably because they didn't want to put their reputation/job/support into a kid, which shows they partially supported him instead of completely supporting him.
I think that Theo finds the home comforting because he isn't made to feel anything. No one is asking him question about what happened or if he wants to talk about it which is what he wants. He prefers to keep it to himself to avoid reliving it over and over again. Also I think he likes the Barbour's home because he can see that no family is perfect. Theo came from a broken family and possibly wanted a perfect family. However there is no such thing as a "perfect" family. Every family has their problems and their rough spots.
When Theo realizes he can't go back to his old life, it breaks him apart more and more. He is a 13 year old boy that needs his mother to help him mature and grow up. And now that has been taken from him. He wants to "go home" referring to his old life. He spends a lot of time wishing that things had never happened that fateful day.
At the end of section 3 when Theo says he can't go home he means it both literally and figuratively. At this point Theo still hasn't come to the conclusion that his mother is dead and he hasn't fully accepted it yet. He feels that he needs to return home on order to see his mother so that she knows he is okay. Theo hasn't adjusted to the fact that his mother isn't waiting for him or worrying about him. He also cannot return "home" because his apartment is no longer his home. Theo's home is now at the Barbour's and in a sense he already is home, despite the fact that it may not feel like it. Theo is still waiting for the Barbour's to feel like home, which is why he wishes to return.
The Whitman poem symbolizes Theo mourning for his mother. He fears that life will never be the same again without her. It suggests that her spirit will live on and that the memories he has of her are immortal like the stars in the sky. In the last snippet of poetry, it asks why the child only mourns for Jupiter and not the others. This suggests that the loss was not only hard for him, but hard for everyone else who lost their loved ones in the bombing. It also insinuates that his mother is almost a trivial loss compared to the sheer magnitude of the losses. The allusion to "Macbeth" with Lady Macbeth never being able to scrub the blood away means that Theo will never be able to wash away his memory of the devastating blast and it will always taint his memory. It could also mean that he will never stop regretting his mother's death and how he was somehow "responsible."
Theo is feeling what many teens do at his age despite his situation. Feeling like a burden, alone, that no one is there for you are all his emotions and at the same time he is just trying to find his place in this world. Even though he is alone staying in the hotel is no place for him to be. He is still a child after all and needs a guardian figure in his life, but with his mother gone and father nearly nonexistent in his life at this point, it's very difficult for anyone to fill in that spot, even his grandparents. Theo never really knew them to begin with and neither did they, but in the very least it's better than having no one at all.
I feel that having Theo stay at the Barbour’s house would have been the best course of action for him. For starters it defiantly would be more comfortable than having to go with his dad (anything would have probably been better than that, even going to a foster home), and though his grandparents had offered to have him stay at a hotel nearby, Mrs. Barbour had made a very good point by saying that in order to be able to move on Theo would have to get back into a routine and be around people.
Mrs. Barbour’s statement was indeed true, and it was good to have a figure like her looking out for what is best for Theo in his time of need. And even though they are old friends, Andy and him still appeared to get along and was perfectly okay with doing an activity in silence. Being with the Barbour’s offered both a safe calm place for Theo to be able to try and take everything in and also that gentle push that was needed to get Theo back onto his feet again. Staying with the Barbour’s was defiantly a good choice.
I feel that there are several reasons as to why Theo’s grandparents didn’t really want him to come and stay at their house. One reason being that they simply don’t know him that well, it was mentioned that Theo and his parents had only gone to see his grandparents once in his life when his mother thought it would be a good idea to get to know his father’s side of the family. And even though Theo isn’t a small child anymore I think that they would be leery of him messing around with their things, such as his grandfather’s valuable train set, because of the fact that Theo would be at home most of the time instead of being in school. I believe that Theo’s grandparents thought it would be more harm than good to take in a teenage boy in a time of illness.
Tom Cable just didn't know how to comfort Theo. So in his eyes, it was better to not say anything rather than say the wrong thing. From Tom's perspective, it was easier to avoid Theo rather than continuing their friendship that is filled with (potentially hurtful) jokes. I don't think that Tom realized how his actions actually hurt Theo in his time of need. Tom thought he was doing what was best for Theo, but in reality it probably would have made him feel better if they just joked around like they used to. Since his return to school, Theo felt everything but normal. Everyone grieves in different ways, but Tom was oblivious to the fact that all Theo needed was a little normality back in his life.
Theo does not choose to live with his grandparents because there is no familiarity between them. In the novel, it is stated that Theo has only ever gone to see his grandparents once in his entire life, making their bond to be that of strangers. To add to this, his grandparents offer to buy him a room at the Holiday Inn, showing that not only is the relationship dangling by a thread, but it is unwanted as well. If I were Theo I wouldn't have wanted to intrude on people who didn't want me around. The feeling of being unwanted plus the lingering grief of his mother's death would be too much to handle. I think staying at the Barbour's house was the lesser of two evils in this situation. No, they weren't able to relate to Theo's situation exactly, but Mrs. Barbour did manage to help him along in some ways. Although Andy was a long-time friend of his, he didn't really know how to handle Theo's situation, which made the friendship a lot more distant.
Theo misses his old life. He misses his mom and the home where they once lived together. As he thinks about his old life, Theo fantisizes about being able to go back to that place. But then comes the realization that he can't and he never will again. I think each time he realizes this it hurts just as much as the time before. Theo wants nothing more than to be able to come home to his mom again, but that is impossible now.
Staying at the Barbour’s house was a good choice for Theo at the time because he needed a kind family that could take care of him properly. Staying at his grandparent’s home would have only made him miss his mother more. By staying at the Barbour’s home, Theo had the chance to experience being surrounded by an entire family. He was able to see what a real dad was like. Also, the Barbour’s didn’t pester him or make him feel unwelcome, which helped Theo adjust into his situation a little bit better.
In section iii, Theo wants to go home because he misses it. Being home means being with his mom and he doesn’t have that luxury anymore, which is why he can’t go home. There are too many memories waiting for him there, like the painting for example.
Tom Cable has no idea how to treat Theo when Theo returns to school. Tom himself has never experienced anything like what Theo is going through, Tom not knowing how to act towrads Theo decides it would be best not to upset him in any way and just steer clear of him. This is exactly what Theo didn't want, Theo just wanted things to go back to normal and screw around with his best friend.
No matter how much Theo wanted to stay at his home he knew in the apartment, it was best for him to stay with the Barbours in his situation. They knew Theo, they knew his family, and even though it had been a while since the families had connected, this awful situation brought Theo back to them. It's sad that Theo was taken better care of there than he would have at his grandparents', but it's a good thing that he knew what would come if he stayed there instead, and decided not to test it out. Staying with the Barbours allowed Theo to be cared for, but to also have time to himself to think, to cry, and to remember his mom.
Theo's choice to stay with family friends rather than his blood relatives is the better option because, though he isn't extremely close with the Barbours, he is closer to them than his father's parents. Also by staying with these friends it allows him to finish out the school year at one school giving him some sense of normality. It would make it easier to accept the fact of his mother's death and give him familiar faces to help get through it. If he were to move with his father's parents he would have to move to an entirely different state and start at a new school already over halfway through the school year. Family, in most cases, does trump friends in a situation like this, but because of his grandparents' health everyone thought it best to wait until they were better to send Theo to live with them (which he is thrilled to not have to go since he has only met them a few times).
I believe Theo's grandparents are trying to avoid the potentially awkward situation of Theo living with them. Although they are blood related, they are practically strangers. Dorothy's "back ailment" is not really a valid reason to not take Theo in, because he could actually help when needed. The real reason they decided to offer a hotel to Theo was because they wouldn't know how to treat him. Theo is going through a tragic situation, and they wouldn't know what to say to him because they know nothing about him. They wanted to help him, but they didn't know how. Staying with the Barbour's is a good temporary fix, but I believe Theo will start to feel more out of place than he already does. Neither of these homes are the best fit for Theo, because both homes lack the comfort and familiarity he needs during his time of grieving.
Theo finds the Barbour home comforting with it's funeral home feel because he is in a state of mourning. When you lose someone so important to you as Theo's mom was to him, you don't want to see the world go on. To you the world is bleak. You don't want to see happiness and joy. The fact that the Barbour mimics how he feels is extremely comforting to him.
During the police interview, Theo couldn't recall the details we already know because he did not want to think about it and he was not comfortable in the interview at all. When you are stressed out your brain almost shuts down and you become overwhelmed, which makes it difficult for you to process and remember things. After the interview was over he was out of a stressful situation and not so on guard, which allowed the details to come to him more readily.
He longs for the life he used to live. Theo misses the place he used to live with his beloved mother. Often times, Theo day-dreams about going back to the place where he was happy with his mother. He finally comes to the decision that he can no longer believe that any of his day-dreams will come true. In my opinion, everytime he thinks about that, he feels more pain. All he wants in life is to be with his mother again, but since she’s dead, seeing her again won’t be able to happen.
I don't know how I would want the Barbour's to treat me if I was in Theo's position. I think I would want them to talk to me and help me get my mind off of the reality (or at least help me from being consumed by it), but I wouldn't want to be treated any differently or expected to go out and do stuff. Losing someone is a very hard thing that sadly, everyone has to go through, and everyone copes differently. I can understand that the Barbour's may find in uncomfortable or awkward to have to take care of Theo, but I think that they should get him out of his room more. Also, I wouldn't let so many people over to talk to him and make him more upset about losing his mother.
I do not think Theo should be sent to live with his dad, his dad left him and his mom and has not been there for support at all through out the years. Now that Theo's mother is dead Theo's father probably sees this as a chance to make some money to buy some more illegal substances. I know the old adage that people change but why take any chances when you yourself are troubled and at an impressionable age? Honestly I think that in cases like Theo's you should be sent to the most stable family or friend, this all depends on how the family or friend acts. If the Family is Theo's dad then I am running to a friends house, I would want no part in anything that Theo's dad has to offer.
I think that the quote, "Over and over, I kept thinking I've got to go home and then, for the millionth time, I can't." is the most important quote in the book thus far. It shows the almost caged animal desperation that comes into Theo when he realizes that he has nowhere to go and nothing to do to escape the overwhelming grief of his mother's death. His apartment isn't necessarily what he means by home, because he could sneak back there and visit at any time if that was what home meant to him, but it wasn't. Home is where the heart is, and Theo's heart was with the only person that cared for him, his mother.
I would like to start by saying that the beginning of this chapter made me feel quite uncomfortable. As I'm sure it made Theo feel the same, "i can still smell the scrambled eggs they ordered for me; the memory of that heaped plate with the steam coming off it still ties my stomach in knots." ( This chapter especially broke my heart). It would make sense that Theo would go to a family member first.. and the social workers tried asking about his father and all his family, but as they dug deeper into his family history they soon realized he really didn't have anyone he could depend on (except for his mother). I can only imagine how awkward it was for Theo to go to the Barbour's home.. but again he is lying to get around his fear.
When Theo keeps saying "I've got to go home", he is missing his old life: his mom, his old apartment, everything that he's always known as home. When he says "I can't", he realizes that as much as he wants to go back to what he knew as home, he can't. At this point he realizes that the Barbour's house is his new home. In a normal situation, it would make sense to go to a relative, but in Theo's case it does not. His dad is no where to be found, and his grandparents consider him a bother. That fact that they would rather put their grandson in a Holiday Inn than stay with them shows their resentment towards Theo. I think the grandparents did not have a good relationship with Theo's dad so now they resent Theo.
From the first impression that the book gives us of Tom, you can tell that he tries to hide his emotions. Tom was a friend of Theo in Junior High, but he always seemed to get into trouble and drag Theo along with him; Theo got suspended for smoking with Tom outside the school building. I think that Tom Cable reacted the way her did to Theo because he didn't exactly know the right way to react. I think that Tom was feeling a bit awkward about having to show his softer side and grief with Theo; he didn't want to look weak.
Theo struggled with remembering all the details because the whole incident was still so fresh and haunting in his mind. He didn't remember all the minute details because his mind was desperate to forget the whole ordeal. His mind was driving itself insane trying to go back to his normal life. I think that Theo's brain was trying to save all memories of his mother- all other thoughts were unimportant and could be discarded. Does he remember what room he was in? No, because he was (and still is) too focused on figuring out what happened to his mother. He can recall, in detail, what happened to him to the reader, but only because he writes of it years later. In his future, he can remember it all because his mind is not fresh with grief and misery. By the the time the reader is hearing all of the gruesome details, the police officers had long forgotten about Theodore Decker and his mother.
Theo's advocates don't stand up for Theo more because every time they tried, they were berated by the officers. Additionally, before the accident, Theo was suspended for smoking in school grounds. Theo's suspension made the adult administrators view him as a trouble-maker, and even though that shouldn't have played a role in their treatment and defense for Theo, too often peoples' images of others can affect how others are treated.
I would agree that it was a smart choice for Theo to stay at the Barbour house. They were able to take him in when no one else wanted to. This is significant, because "Barbour" means a coat or a protection. It seems pretty fitting for their last name to mean that their family was going to take Theo in and protect him, because although they didn't show much affection, they provided him with a steady lifestyle for a couple of months.
J. Barbour and Sons is a luxury clothing line that began in South Shields, England. Founded by John Barbour in 1894, J. Barbour and Sons designs and sells outerwear, leather goods, shoes, and accessories. The company is very popular, and "The company's waxed-cotton jackets are so well known that some people refer to any waxed-cotton jacket as a "Barbour jacket", irrespective of manufacturer." (Wikipedia).
The significance in the name is enormous. The reader already knows that the Barbour family is well known in the city- Mrs. Barbour always hosting parties, going to charity fundraisers, etc. However the discovery of the reputable name in England makes the families status even more "royal". Tartt symbolizes with this name that Theo's adoptive family (The Mrs. especially) are very concerned with image. Mrs. Barbour, however friendly she is, takes great effort to make sure the situation is kept under control (her control). She isn't going to let this situation stand in the way of keeping up her status in the city.
The name symbolizes the status that both Barbour's maintained in their times.
I agree that Mrs. Barbour displays "motherly traits" towards Theo, but I don't think that they are all necessarily for his benefit. Could you imagine the absolute scandal it would be if there was a child in need that was left under her care that went unattended to? The society pages would have a heyday with that one. However, she does seem to get the job done- at least on the surface. She puts clothes on his back, sees to it that he attends school, and encourages him to eat. She even makes sure that he gets "help" while he's in school with the guidance counselor. Also, she stands by his side while he is interrogated by the men in the back outfits that pay him a visit one day. While she may not be earning any awards for "Mother of the Year," she seems to be handling the basics just fine.
At the Barbour's home, Mr. Barbour, Mrs. Barbour, and Andy do all treat him differently. If I were in Theo's shoes, I'm not sure that I would be fully comfortable with the way that any of them were treating me. On one hand, Andy's treatment would be nice because it seems to be the most normal of the three. It would make sense to try to be as normal as possible, like it was before. On the other hand, I don't know how you could ever build back to being "normal" after surviving a tragedy like that, especially one where a loved one hadn't. Also considering that things with Andy were back to normal so fast would be too much for me, I would need a ridiculously long amount of time to recover. I don't even know how long it would take me before I started feeling like myself again.
If I were in Theo's place, I'd want Andy's treatment towards me. Andy is the one person that understands Theo and knows that the best thing for Theo right now is for him to be alone. Andy knows that the last thing Theo wants to talk about is his mom's death. Andy's mom, despite being kind, is not someone I'd like to be around if I were Theo. Also, Andy's dad's treatment would be too cheerful for me if I were Theo. Theo finds the Barbour home comforting even though it feels like a funeral home because it gives him the environment to grieve in. The Barbours don't bother Theo but provide him with everything he needs to try and ease back into normalcy.
After the death of his mother, Theo's state of mind was disastrous, as anybodies would be. He refuses and fears living in a foster home. Of course the obvious option is to live with family, but this is a complicated option for Theo. His father is an option, but at the same time it isn't. His father is an abusive man who abandoned Theo and his mother to start a new life in Las Vegas. With his dad not even being part of the equation and refusing to live in a foster home, Theo's last option is to live with the Barbour's, a family friend.
When Theo's grandparents offer to put him in a Holiday Inn, it emphasizes the idea that he doesn't have any family left that loves and cares about him. The offer to put him in a hotel is more of an act of obligation rather than an act of love. They are his grandparents! Any kid knows the stereotypical image of a grandparent as someone who loves and spoils you to death, not offer to barely get you by. If they truly loved and cared about him, they would be first in line to take Theo into their on home and treat him like their own child. When they offer to put him in the hotel, it was an immediate red flag for me showing that they don't truly care for him at all.
I googled "Barbour", and what I found is that it is a very expensive clothing line. Now for Theo, he is not rich, but the actual Barbour family is very wealthy. So Theo gets to wear this "expensive Barbour coat" and experience what it means to be rich. He is experiencing riches not only through money and objects that the Barbours have, but also the riches of a true family. This is something he had never experienced before. But while he has this "expensive Barbour coat" on he will experience it.
The grandparent's offer to pay for a hotel room for Theo near their home shows that his grandparents don't care to associate with him. Their attempt at taking responsibility for Theo while he is without parents turns out to be more of a way for them to keep him out of their lives. The possibility of him staying in a hotel room by himself with no guardian is nonexistent, and the grandparents are aware of that. So they shield their lack of interest in Theo by throwing out a ridiculous offer, that of course cannot betaken for a young boy. Overall it suggests that they are selfish and irresponsible, as well as explains the behavior of their son.
When Theodore repeatedly said "I want to go home," at the end of section three, it reminded me a lot of a kid who is lost. Wanting to go back to a place he felt comfortable in. Theo felt very strange there, since it was not his typical life style. The thing he missed the most was his mom. Then he came to the sudden realization that he "Can't" He can not go back to his old life style and he can't get his mom back.
It's hard to imagine Theo's family issues he has to endure, especially at such a young age. For most of us, going to our grandparents' house as kids is a time where we can take a break from our day and just enjoy the company of people who love and care for us. It's sad that in Theo's situation, he would rather join an old family friends' home than his grandparents' home after such a tragedy. What's even more sad is that his grandparents didn't want him to live with them, after such hardships he has already gone through. I think that his grandparents are so reluctant to take him in because they possibly believe that doing so isn't what his mother would want for him, since she didn't have a relationship with them either.
Theo finds the funeral home feeling of the Barbour's house comforting because he doesn't want to be happy. His mom's dead and he wants to be sad, he wants to be completely submerged in the feeling. The gloom of the house might not be best for him in the long run, but I the first few weeks of his arrival it's great. It lets him feel how he wants to feel. He didn't get to cry at his mother's funeral service and he's trying so hard to move on, but not forget, and the house is the best way for him to feel sad without having to outwardly be sad.
Staying with the Barbours' in this point in his life is Theo's best option for several reasons. First of all, he knew the family before the accident, so the familiarity of the home would be more comforting than a new environment with new people after so much shock. Secondly, living with them wouldn't require him to uproot the rest of his life- he could continue to go to the same school and do things that felt normal while he adjusted to life without his mother. Last of all, his only other living arrangements would be with his grandparents or his father. His grandparents didn't want him and his father didn't want to be found. After losing his only true family, it would be inappropriate to put him into a home where he didn't feel even slightly wanted.
At the end of section three Theo states that he kept thinking that he wanted to go home, but realized he couldn't. Theo is just reacting like how many kids would be in his situation. He has faced a tragic loss and his mother was killed. His whole world has been flipped upside down and not for the better. Everything he once knew has changed and instead of living with his mother in the home he grew up in he is now in a strange house with a friend. This transition had to of been so hard for Theo. All he means is that he misses his home and wishes he could go back and rewind time to when his mother was alive and everything was fine. Eventually reality hits Theo like it always does and he comes to the realization that his old life is gone and he cannot go back no matter how much he wants to.
When Theo arrives at the Barbour's household everyone acts differently towards him. Mr. Barbour offers him company if he wants it and talks a lot and downplays everything that has happened. Mrs. Barbour is very energetic and cheerful and somewhat in his face. As for Andy he simply just comes in Theo's room and sits next to him in silence. If I were in that situation I think I would prefer Andy's treatment towards Theo. I would want to be left alone to think and process what was all happening, but having someone to sit there with you can be comforting even if the other person isn't talking at you. Being able to just think and not have to make conversation would be how I would want to handle the situation. People usually just need time to breath and gather themselves before they can talk to other people about what happened and how they are feeling.
Staying with the Barbour's was the better choice than his grandparents. When the social workers were questioning Theo he didn't even know how to contact his grandparents. It's obvious that it has been a long time since they have spoken to Theo and his mother. Theo is able to reconnect with his friend Andy. He doesn't force Theo to talk about his mother but is there for moral support for his friend. The Barbour's are very understanding with Theo. They give him time to think and gain composure.
At the end of the section iii, Theo says that he wants to go home, but soon realizes that he can't go back. In this chapter, Theo can never really come to ends with his mother's death. He cannot believe that just yesterday his mother was alive and now she's gone. He realizes that is dad is no where to be found and his grandparents are also no longer in his life since his father left. Ms. Barbour even stated that Theo's father probably doesn't want to be found anyways. The only family he has left is himself.
Theo doesn't actually know any of his family besides his father. His father was the last person he wanted to stay with due to the only memories he had of his father. To him his father never cared about him and was an alcoholic. Usually family is first to stay with but since Theo didn't really have any distant friend worked for him. When asked for a friend he instantly thought of the Barbour's there has to be a reason for that. Maybe its that that old friend wasn't like his now trouble making friends? Maybe it was that he was the only actual true friend he has ever had, Or maybe it was because the family had money. Either way he chose them for a reason.
Theo lost someone who he cared about the most out of the world so unexpectedly. I definitely wouldn't want to be forever reminded but I wouldn't want to be babied about it either. You have to live your life not constantly in fear someones going to treat you differently. I obviously would want to be left alone at times. I felt like Andy understood that with Theo how their chess games was Andy just playing himself. I'd prefer to be treated normally I guess not pretend like something never happened but still act more normal. How they hide the newspapers from Theo so he can't see them. That leads his mind to believe there is obviously stuff in there they don't want him to read. That makes him most likely dread on his mom.
Staying at the Barbour’s house was the best option for Theo. He needed
to surround himself with a person, or people, that would support him during this tragic time. He could have stayed with his grandparent's but he is so detached from that side of his family. He also could have went with his dad but Theo was avoiding that at all costs. The Barbour's gave Theo a sense of family and belonging allowing him to recover.
The quote “Over and over, I kept thinking I’ve got to go home and then, for the millionth time, I can’t.” Theo means home is where him and his mother are together. For his whole life Theo was always dependent on his mother and now his world has been turned up side down. His home that he knew with his mother he can never go back to. His mother cannot return which causes him to not be able to return home. This quote shows that event though the Barbour’s have been welcoming he still does not feel like he is home.
The narrator gives a lot of descption as to how cool, calm, and collected Mrs. Barbour is. It doesn't seem like she would be able to be a great mother, but she actually is, in her own way. She protects Theo from reporters and investigators. She also keeps the newspapers away from him so he doesn't get disturbed by something someone has written about him or his mother. On top of that, she is always watching how much he is eating and trying to feed him more. She makes him go back to school because she knows that keeping busy will take his mind off of things. If she wasn't a good mother, she wouldn't do any of those things and just would let Theo figure out what to do. She loves him even though she doesn't have to.
The name Barbour is important because a literal barbour is a coat that is made of waxed cotton, designed to protect the wearer from the elements. In a similar sense, the Barbours, especially Mrs. Barbour are protecting Theo from foster homes, his father, and the social workers who are trying to interrogate him into finding his dad. When he tells himself at the end of section iii that he has to go home but can’t, he’s trying to force himself to realize that he doesn’t have a home anymore. He wants to go back to his mother, back to the life he used to live, but that life is gone. I know that even if my grandparents were on their death bed, they would take me in, so seeing that Theo’s grandparents just want to stick him in a Holiday Inn suggests that they really want nothing to do with him. Theo’s grandparents are of offering to help a little bit, probably so at the end of the day they can say they tried, but really have no sympathy to the situation.
All the advice that the staff gives to Theo about his mother seems to be counterproductive and just upsets Theo more. The advice keeps bringing up what Theo is trying to forget and Theo can't seem to get away from what happened anywhere he goes. Theo's grandparents don't really like Theo and don't want to anything to do with him. They essentially offer to give him money yet don't want to talk or interact with him. The quote Andy offers, "Nature red in tooth in claw," is from a poem by Alfred Lord Tennyson called In Memoriam A.H.H. which is about his friend that died suddenly while in college. Theo's mother died suddenly and unexpectantly as well. I just noticed this but the name "Barbour", sounding like the profession of barber, someone that cuts hair, and the whole time Theo is in Las Vegas it is brought up several times that he needs a haircut; he needs a barber(Barbour)...
Although family should trump most, in this case Theo is more or less out of family. If I was in the position Theo was in and went to the Barbour’s house, I would most like the treatment he received from Andy, being more relatable from someone his age. I think Tom Cable treats Theo so differently because he doesn’t have any idea how to act appropriately around Theo after what’s happened. I also wondered why the book completely skips the idea of a funeral for Theo’s mother. I think the ring will have significance to someone else, not the narrator, like the key in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.
While in most situations family should trump friends and foster homes, however, if the family doesn’t want him, treats him poorly, or he wishes to be somewhere else the individual should be able to decide where they want to go. Barbour is a coat worn by upper class people. When he met Mr. Barbour he was wearing a ridiculous outfit that made him look like he was part of the Continental Congress. Another thing is that Barbour is a Dutch name so it appears everything connects to the Netherlands in this. The Barbours are very quiet and are away from society. This gives Theo a chance to really think about what’s happened to him and sort things out within him. At the end of section iii when Theo says, “I can’t,” he wants to go home and he’s referring to his way of life before the bomb but he knows he can’t.
The Whitman poem symbolizes Theo mourning for the loss of his mother. Tom Cable avoids Theo because he doesn't know how to act while he's in grief. His grandparents offering to put him up in a Holiday Inn suggests that his grandparents suck. At the end of section iii, when Theo says that he wants to go home, he means that he wants to go back with his mom. He can't because she's dead and home would just remind him of that.
Theo and his grandparents don't really know anything about each other and a major part of that is because his dad was hardly in his life. His mom took care of him. His grandparents didn't take the time to contact him or get to know him through the years. I'm my opinion, I don't think it should have been an option to live in a hotel at his age. He was left to guide himself with no one to show him the ropes of life. I get the vibe that the grandparents are wanting/trying to do the right thing by taking care 9f theo but its going to change their life in many ways raising a teenage boy (again).
When Andy says, “Nature red in tooth and claw,” is an excerpt from Alfred Tennyson in his book In Memoriam A.H.H. The meaning of the phrase is that we live in a violent world like animals. They get blood on their claws and their teeth when they eat another animal. Alfred Tennyson made the poem for his friend who died of a cerebral hemorrhage in Vienna. This quote is appropriate because when discussing the funeral with Andy he mentions that Theo’s grandfather could have Alzheimer’s and is being held hostage by his wife for money. While this seems very wrong and impossible it does happen and it certainly appears to have happened to Theo. Theo’s grandparents don’t want him not just because they think he will be a handful but because they don’t even really know him. They’ve also grown accustom to this child free lifestyle and didn’t plan on going back to having one.
As stated above, when Theo enters the Barbour's home, he is treated by the three personalities of Mr. Barbour, Mrs. Barbour, and Andy. Mr. Barbour is mostly fixed on trying to change the subject, anytime Theo's mother is brought up, he puts up a 'road block'. On the other hand, Mrs. Barbour sugar coats just about everything. Theo's situation is very traumatic and I believe that Mrs. Barbourbis just trying to relieve some stress. Andy, I believe is treating Theo like a best friend/Brother. Andy welcomed Theo and is just overall a great kid. I feel as though he is the most Honest in Theo's situation, he just shows the rawness and the real mess of the situation.
I feel as though Theo's grandparents don't want him because he is a burden. They have had nothing to do with him his whole life, and they made excuses as to why he shouldn't live with them, as said, he is 13, not 3. I think his grandparents know that Theo's father wasn't there for him, and I feel as though they believe that he doesn't need them. They just don't want that extra weight put on their backs, when they had nothing to do with him in the first place.
Tom Cable treats Theo like a stranger after his return to school. I believe Tom Cable may have felt guilty and didn’t know how to be normal friends again. Though Theo doesn’t blame Tom for the incident, it certainly is natural to feel guilt when a tragedy like the one in the story occurs. He was in no relation to the bombing, but he might feel at fault for the supernatural positioning that Theo and Theo’s mother ended up in. The confrontation they had ended quickly. It was easier (and lightened the guilt) to avoid Theo. The less interaction, the less he thought about the scenario, and the less troublesome the whole situation was.
The teachers and adults who paid Theo an “uncomfortable amount of attention” made the situation worse for Theo. Theo really needed normality in his life. The little gestures, though kind, like talking aside from class, and talking of methods of coping separated Theo from normality even more. Theo needed to just plunge back into the swing of things and needed to get his mind off of the past, not indulge it further.
Theo's grandparents offering to pay for him to stay in a Holiday Inn is completely ridiculous. A kid whose dad walked out on him and mom died in a horrific accident needs comforting from someone. It's sad that grandparents like Theo's actually exist in the world. This shows that they're inconsiderate and selfish people. He is not a little kid, so no he will not be too much of a burden for them. He is old enough to entertain himself and take care of himself so it's sad that his own blood doesn't want him. I think they're so reticent to take him in because frankly they don't care enough about his well-being.
I think staying with the Barbour’s was a good idea for Theo. Although he had not seen them for quite some time he still knows them fairly well. He is able to try and be normal again because he will be going back to the same school and is around familiar settings that create a comfort. If he had to stay with his grandparents he would have to adjust to everything in that setting as well as getting to know his grandparents because he has not been around them. When people lose someone it is important for them to stay in a normal routine and be around people they are used to being around because they are able to start feeling normal again. Although things will never feel normal without his mother, he is still able to go to the same school and see the same people who were around before his mother’s death. Staying with the Barbour’s also gave him things to do to keep his mind off of the incident. He is kept busy with Andy and the rest of the family so he has less time to think about everything.
The choice for Theo to stay at the Barbour's house was a very good choice due to the way the Barbour's protected him from the outside world while Theo grieved. While Theo went through the grieving process people would come and give him their condolences for the loss of his mother, if they stayed too long Mrs. Barbour would kindly step in and have them leave, saying Theo was tired. Also, they hid the newspaper from him, at first it seemed almost kind of childish and unnecessary, but it allowed Theo to take his mind off of the bombing that was definitely still buzzing in the papers. The Barbour's also protected him from reporters, who all wanted the same thing, a story. The Barbour's allowed him to grieve, but at the same time didn't allow him to become a recluse. When the time came, they made Theo face reality, Mrs. Barbour especially, she told him it was time to get back into the real world.
A Barbour is a coat that protects from the elements. This family symbolizes a shield of protection, similar to a fireman putting a blanket over a person who has been in a fire.
Theo thinks the Barbour home is like a funeral home but for that reason he finds it comforting. I think this is because funeral homes are quiet places that welcome self reflection. I also think that he feels comfortable in isolation.
When Theo returns to school, his best friend Tom Cable is very icy and distant towards Theo. Their usual playful banter is very awkward and uncomfortable. Cable tries to act like he doesn't know him at all. I believe Cable does this because he believes he's partially responsible for whats happened. Theo got in trouble due to Cable smoking on school property, if it hadn't been for Cable Theo would've never had gotten suspended and would've never had to have a meeting at the school, and he would've never gone to the museum with his mother that day. Cable knows he got the ball rolling on the unfortunate events that took place.
I think Theo was much more comfortable going to stay with a distant friend because his family was not very close. Theo only met his grandparents once and it wasn’t a very good experience. He didn’t feel comfortable around his grandpa just within that small visit they had. Therefore, Theo definitely doesn’t want to live with him.
If I were in Theo’s position, I would prefer Andy’s treatment. Andy doesn’t say much when he is with Theo, but he is still there for support. Andy is a good at giving Theo space and letting Theo decide how he wants to grieve. He is not pushy like his mother who constantly asks Theo if he wants anything. I think Andy is also better because he is closer in age which would make him easier to talk to. In addition, it would be easier to trust him.
I definitely think that it is best for Theo to stay with Barbour family. It is good because they are familiar people that Theo is somewhat comfortable with. In addition, they are close to Theo’s home and school. If Theo were to live with his grandparents he would have to move to Maryland This move could greatly hurt Theo especially since he doesn’t really like his grandparents. The other option would be foster care. I personally, would prefer to live with a friend than people I don’t know. Out of all three choices, the Barbour family makes the most sense.
In section iii, Theo says “Over and over, I kept thinking I've got to go home and then, for the millionth time, I can't." Theo is missing his old life. He is not used to being catered too all the time and not having his mother obviously. He just wants to go back and be in his own apartment with his mother like any normal person would. He is not used to living the “rich life,” therefore making him want to go home even more. Although it is good for him to stay with the Barbour’s, it is a change that is hard to make. He tells himself he wants to go home but then realizes he can’t because of the reality of the situation. Theo just wants to feel normal again and that will take time.
I think Tom Cable treats Theo the way he did because he is unsure of any other way to talk to him. He does not know how to sympathize with the situation that has happened. It is easier for him to just basically ignore him because he would not know what to say if he tried to spark a conversation. Although he was trying to look for Theo in a way, it made things really awkward for Theo. He needs normalcy in his life. He wants to feel normal but when people treat him differently because they are unsure if they should ignore him or sympathize with him, it makes it impossible for things to be normal. It is uncomfortable for Theo to be in the position he is in but also everyone else around him as well. No one knows how to act when they are around him because they don’t want to say something or do something that would upset him.
"Nature red in tooth and claw" is a line from a poem by Alfred Tennyson. Tennyson wrote it after one of his good friends died in 1833. The phrase represents the violent nature of the world. The world can tear something up and leave "red in tooth and claw." This can relate to Theo because his mother was taken away from him very suddenly. She was torn away and he saw the nature of the world; "red in tooth and claw.
Theo not wanting to go live with his grandparents is understandable as feels unwelcomed. His grandparents seem to look for excuses as to why they cannot look after Theo and have shown little to no interest in him. The Barbour's situation is comforting. Theo says that it reminds him of a funeral home, which is quite eerie. The Barbour's do not question Theo about the death of his mother and so this is the best situation for Theo.
Mr. Barbour seemed a little awkward. He wanted to make Theo feel a little better, but when Theo didn't respond, he didn't know what to say. He tried to keep the subject away from the incident and tell jokes, but it just made the tension more apparent. Mrs. Barbour seemed pushy to help Theo throughout the chapter. If I were in Theo's shoes, I'd want Andy's treatment more than anyone else's. He didn't smother Theo, and he spent the time he did talk to him talking about other things, even if Theo wasn't entirely invested in their conversations. Andy was just trying to be a friend to Theo like he was before.
Theo tells us, "Over and over, I kept thinking I've got to go home and then, for the millionth time, I can't." He says this because he want everything to go back to normal. He wants to back to his old apartment with his mother. He feels that the way the Barbours live is too different from he s used to.
Theo's best plan I believe is to stick with Barbour family, due to the fact that his grandparents show no interest in him at all. I agree with Steven I think it was smart of him to move in with the Barbour family due to the fact that they are an upper class family. Barbour's are thick coats though worn by upper to middle class individuals, in this case the author is trying to show a similarity here to provoke that Theo is wanting to go something where he could best be cared for. Personally orphanages are not a very good place to be and especially with issues that he and could easily change his life for the worst because nobody would be around to prevent these flare ups from happening. He is best to be with the Barbours then stuck in a place where no one would care about him at all.
The last name Barbour is significant because it means a fabric that protects. After his mothers death Theo stays with the Barbours because he has no other living options. They now become his primary care givers and will be the ones to protect him. Theo finds it comforting being with them because unlike his family they are not grieving along with him and creating an atmosphere of sadness. The Barbours do not question Theo about the events he had just went through which he appreciates.
Tom was cold and kind of rude to Theo on the phone when Theo tried to talk to him about them breaking and entering. Tom told him to keep his mouth shut and that nobody knew a thing, and he hung up. Maybe Tom feels guilty about getting Theo into trouble in the first place; after all, they were on their way to talk about what his punishment would be when they were in the museum. Tom could feel that if they hadn't gotten into trouble, they wouldn't have had to go to the meeting, they wouldn't have had to kill time before, and they wouldn't have gotten stuck in the museum bombing. He could also feel like there's something between him and Theo now, and he could be avoiding the painful realization that Theo's mom is dead.
Indeed the Barbours home is suitable for Theo. But unfortunately it doesnt seem to be the best place for him. It isn't the best place for him. One example would be: he hasn't necessarily been raised in that environment. throughout his life he hasn't lived wealthy, or in any extravagant way. He has lived quite a normal life, with a lower income than the Barbours. The second example could be the type of tension that exists between Theo and the Barbours eldest son.
Chapter 3
Family would normally trump going to a friend or a foster home, but when the family has made no effort to actually care for you or care about you, then they are no better than a stranger. Family is the people who make the effort to be in your life and care about your wellbeing. Theo’s grandparents were no better than his father in the sense that they both did not want him and made excuses towards him about it. What is even worse is that Theo knows it too. At the age of thirteen, you are just starting to learn about what life actually is and when you lose a parent to a bombing and the other does not care for you, what do you have left to live with? Theo had his grandparents as an option, but how welcoming is family that kept making excuses as to why they couldn’t take care of you. The Barbour family was the best option for young Theo and one that I could not agree more with. They let him grief in his own way about the loss of his mother and they treat him with a comforting welcome while living with them. It is still hard for Theo because it is a different family to be in, but in my opinion it was the better option than him going to live with his grandparents.
Tom Cable treats Theo so differently when he goes back to school because he doesn't know how to act. It is an awkward situation for both of them and Tom doesn't know the best way to behave towards Theo. Theo just wants Tom to act the same but Tom is uncomfortable in the situation and ends up acting weird. Also, his grandparents offering to put him in a hotel shows how they really feel about him. They will help, but they don't want it to be personal. They will pay for him to physically have a place to stay, but it's too much for them to provide him with a home and care for him. It shows how they don't really want to help him.
Theo chooses to go and live with the Barbour family after his mothers passing. This was his choice to go not Social Services which makes it a more comfortable environment for Theo. He feels welcome unlike his grandparents who come up with excuses why he can't come live with them. This was a good choice on Theo's part due to the fact that they were a well organized family. Theo might have been looking for a perfect family to go with, and the Barbour's were his closest thing to it. Andy Barbour, even busy with his AP work shows a brotherly relationship towards Theo. No one in the house questions Theo what happens and just lets him recover slowly day by day. Mrs. Barbour also acts like a motherly figure towards Theo by keeping the press away, making sure he eats something, and much more. The family as a whole leaves the crisis alone, and does not pester Theo to see how he feels and what happened inside the museum that day.
If I were to be in the position that Theo is in I think that Andy's treatment would be mot helpful to me. Andy treats Theo in a way that lets Andy grieve and come to terms with the situation by himself whilst still giving him support and someone to talk to if need be. I would like this treatment best because I like to handle emotions myself and finally if I can’t then go and talk to a close friend, just like Theo did with Andy.
I think that staying with the Barbour family was probably the best option for Theo. His grandparents were the only family that were available to him, and they didn't even want to take him in. It was better to stay with friends, rather than in the Holiday Inn that his grandparents offered to put him in. This way he could stay with a decent family that he knows, and that won't constantly bother him and make him relive what had happened.
Each of the Barbours have very different approaches when it comes to dealing with Theo's situation. Mr. Barbour avoids mentioning the incident, trying to keep Theo's spirits up through idle chatter. Mrs. Barbour does not harp on the issue, but she clearly gives Theo special treatment in the house as well. Andy, on the other hand, does not talk to Theo at all. He gives Theo space to think and process things silently for himself. Theo definitely appreciated Andy's approach the most, but personally I would want Mr. Barbour's. When I feel sad, I appreciate having my mind taken off of the issue. Mr. Barbour's willingness to accept Theo into the family and always joke and hold conversations would be exactly what I would need in that kind of situation. The Barbour family definitely represent three different method on how to process and move forward form a situation, and each method seems applicable to different people.
At the end of section iii, Theo tells us "Over and over, I kept thinking I've got to go home and then for the millionth time, I can't." I think what he means by this is that he misses his mother, which in his mind, is his home. I think that he means that he wants his mother with him, and wished she was not dead. Also, he does not live in his apartment anymore, which used to be his home.
I predict that the ring will make Hobie and Theo become great friends. Hobie was really happy that the ring is back to him. The ring, I predict, is something that will change Theo's life. Hobie seems to know a lot about history. Hobie also is humble and cares for the things he loves. When his grandparents offered to put him in a hotel it seems like they don't really want him living with them. Why not live with them, he will certainly help out with the grandma's back ailment. Theo would be able to do chores around the house and help take care of his grandmother. If I were Theo, I would not want to live with his grandparents. The two times he was there, they didn't seem to enjoy his company. The grandparents haven't been in Theo's life at all and it would be more comfortable to be with a distant friend. They also offered to put him in a hotel until his grandmother gets better. I don't think that family should trump in this case because Theo should be with someone he wants to be with, not someone he is forced to be.
In all honesty, I did not have a clue what the word Barbour meant or could symbolize until I searched the word on google about five minutes ago. From the little I have read, J. Barbour and Sons produce waterproof clothing. I don't think the last name Barbour was chosen out of random, I think it serves as a much deeper meaning than just the name itself. The Barbour's become Theo's protection from the outside world, much like a waterproof coating. While living with them he is shielded from much he could've been exposed to with any other family. Things as simple as monitoring Theo's visitations and hiding the newspaper become a routine in the house to make for a better home environment. Although the family is almost the polar opposite of the lifestyle Theo has grown up in, he grows to find safety and comfort in their home. When it is almost time for the yearly sailing trip, Theo wishes he can attend with them. Just as clothing can not fit someone forever, the Barbour household can not fit Theo for forever. His stay must come to an unwelcoming end when his father and Xandra come to move him in with them; an idea not keen with Theo nor the Barbours completely.
Theo feels that the Barbour house is like a funeral home. He feels comfortable in their house. Some reasons why he would feel comforting because he is in the time of mourning from his mothers death and funeral homes make you feel better after losing someone close. They also keep the mood calm so he would feel more calm. Theo would do more better in a calm environment. This leads to the decision of him living with them. I think that this was the right decision for him. The Barbour's would be a better fit for him instead of his grandparents. They would take better care for him and he already said that their house is comforting.
While most of us would consider a funeral home as an uncomfortable place, Theo sees it as a comforting place. Maybe he says this because it's full of people that he is at least familiar with (which is more than can be said for the grandparents). Maybe he says this because being in a house of death makes him feel physically closer to his mother. I think he says this because he is mourning, and it's comforting to be in a place where sadness seems welcome when one feels sad. The opulence of the house, but with a cold emotional feel, is exactly like a funeral home. Theo knows this place is only temporary, just as he hopes his sadness is. That's a comforting thought.
Theo wanted to stay with the Barbour family because he wanted to be apart of a family that cared for him and would treat him like an actual member of the family. Theo did not want to go to Social Services because he would've felt uncomfortable and it would've been an unsafe environment. If someone else was in Theo's situation they probably would've chose to go live with their grandparents. However, Theo didn't want to live with his grandparents because they made up excuses as to why he couldn't come and live with them. He would be very uncomfortable if he chose this option. Theo also felt that the family would let him make a slow recovery and not question his ideas to get back in the swing of things.
I think that the quote, "Over and over, I kept thinking I've got to go home and then, for the millionth time, I can't." refers to his old life. The Barbour's have a bunch of money so they can get anything Theo wants. Theo also isn't used to the rich life. He isn't used to getting everything he needs. His new life without his mom is very different. His mom played a huge role in his life and without her it's hard for him to adjust to his new life. He doesn't have his "home" like he used to.
If I were in Theo's shoes, I would prefer the treatment of Andy. Mr.Barbour doesn't really know how to help Theo with the current situation he is in. He wants to help, which is good, but he never can find any comforting words for him. He ends up just creating the situation more awkward for Theo. Mrs.Barbour wants to do her own thing with Theo. She wants to talk to Theo about the situation all the time even though he doesn't want to talk about it all the time. She appears to be bossy to Theo about how to handle what he is going through. Andy on the other hand lets Theo do his own thing and is very comforting towards Theo. Andy always knows what to say in order to make Theo feel better.
Tom Cable treats Theo differently because he doesn't know how to act now that Theo's mother died. He may be afraid to strike a nerve about something while they're goofing off. Mrs. Barbour is motherly towards Theo in a way she looks out for him. She makes sure that the social workers aren't pressing him too hard and if there's an interrogation they don't go too far. She butts into conversations that are meaningless and keeps stress away from Theo
I can see why in this scenario Theo would rather live with a distant friend other than a relative or a foster home. there are many bad foster homes out there and Theo's close relatives are not really close to him at all. in this case i can see how living with a distant friend can be more comfortable then living with a family member.
I have to agree with Adam A when he says that Theo means he both literally and figuratively can't go home. In a figurative sense for him going home would mean he'd have to fully realize that his mother gone which is hard for him realize. I also like how he said he can't go home literally because it's no longer his home which is the best way I could put it.
When Theo moves into the Barbour household, I think he most prefers the treatment from Mr. Barbour. This is because his father never treated him kindly, and even abandoned him. Mr. Barbour is extremely warm and welcoming. I think Mrs. Barbour's treatment of him is the least preferable because he is used to a kind and caring mother, and she shows that she cares from a distance, if she does care at all. When he says that he likes being in the Barbour household because it feels like a funeral home, I think that he is relating the loneliness and sadness of their materialistic home to the loneliness of the death of his mother. Also, he probably remembers the funeral home as the last place he got to see his mother, which would make him appreciate the atmosphere.
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