Oskar's grandmother states, "He never took pictures of me, and we didn't buy life insurance." What does this statement tell us about the character and their relationship?
When did his grandma move? Where did she move to?
Why is it so important that Oskar's grandfather's hands didn't lose their roughness? What caused them to remain coarse?
Her mother's pearls are mentioned a few times. Is this significant? If so, why? Explain.
Why was she thinking of shoes?
"He promised us that everything would be ok. I was a child, but I knew that everything would not be ok. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father." What is the significance of this quote? What does it tell us?
While helping her to learn about makeup, her mother cries. Why?
Why does Oskar's grandmother get rid of all the pers from the apartment?
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While reading through this chapter, I noticed that I was really beginning to feel Oskar's grandmother's pain for the broken relationship she had with her husband, and understand how this made her feel. It was heartbreaking. One thing she said that really stuck out to me was "You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness." This seemed to identify how she was feeling about her relationship with Oskar's grandfather. She loved him even through her unhappiness, although there once was a time where they loved each other in a different, closer way. It was sad to read about how they had built a home through rules. That alone would seem to make anyone very unhappy. It would be like walking on eggshells to keep one another happy. What has been confusing to me through reading this chapter is how they are in a way happy yet in another desperately unhappy. Maybe that is only Oskar's grandmother's views, while her husband has a different way of thinking.
I think something that was comforting to her was the fact that her husbands hands never lost their roughness. That texture of his skin was probably familiar to her in a way that reminded her of how he was when they first met. After all, their first few weeks together involved him sculpting her. Its important that his hands never lost their roughness because if they had, he wouldn't be the same man to her anymore. She valued his hands in a way and fell in love with him exactly how he was when they had first met. If he had changed and his hands lost that rough texture, that familiarity would be gone.
Throughout this chapter I really could see a deeper meaning into Oskar's grandparents relationship. It was an odd relationship, but no matter what happened the two loved each other very much. One or the other may not show it all the time, but they both knew how much one meant to the other.Reading about their relationship showed me that no matter what is going on in one's life love will always be there, whether you can feel it or not. I also agree with Kama about the roughness of Oskar's grandfather's hands. His hands were a comforting aspect to Oskar's grandmother, and without that roughness there would be a loss of comfort to her. Also, of how she valued his hands and what it meant to their relationship. Almost everyone in life really loves an aspect of their significant other, and without that it would feel as if something huge would be missing. That is exactly what the roughness of his hands are to her, something she wouldn't want to lose.
When oskar's grandfather never took pictures of his grandmother, it showed where the priorities were in the relationship, at least on one side. I can only imagine how this makes her feel when he buys the most expensive insurance plan, and yet never buys life insurance. This takes its toll, and rightfully so. When someone spends as much time and effort on the apartment as he did, taking pictures of the doorknobs, and never taking pictures of her. Although they would go out of their way to help each other, the pain of feeling unwanted, or unimportant is something that no tangible action can change.
I liked this chapter because it helped me understand the depth of their relationship but at the same time created more questions. We saw her long to be loved and to love. We saw how they needed space from each other. We saw how their relationship wasn't all bad, they were able to make each other laugh. We saw how lonely they were. It wasn't necessarily that they had a bad marriage, but I just feel like the love wasn't there. Like that time at the airport and they kept going back ad forth but she made a point to say how neither of them went to the statement "I love you", rather they said things like "Broken and Confused" and "so sad". Their relationship amazes me in how complex, but simple it is at the same time.
But then we also learned more about her dad. I loved reading that part. How she said, "I watched my father's world fall apart", but we cold still see not only her respect, but admiration of him. She was able to look past the flaws, and see what kind of man he was. One that would do anything for his family, no matter how much suffering that caused.
The statement Oskar’s grandmother makes about how his grandfather never took pictures of her upsets me, but it also shows what kind of a relationship she and Oskar’s grandfather have. The reason why I find the statement so saddening is it shows no matter how much Oskar’s grandmother wants to feel loved, she will never get that feeling from Oskar’s grandfather. This is shown later in the chapter when neither of them point to the phrase “I love you” in the grandfather’s day book. Instead, their relationship revolves around helping each other. It makes sense why Oskar’s grandfather would never take pictures of her, even though she is his wife, because he never saw her as his. It is still a heartbreaking relationship after realizing how much Oskar’s grandmother wants to feel loved; she constantly hoped things would change, and he would eventually love her. But, in the end, their relationship was based on anything but love, and Oskar’s grandfather continued to take pictures of everything but her because she was not his.
"He promised us everything would be ok. I was a child, but I knew everything would not be ok. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father." This line in the novel somewhat broke my heart and somewhat made it feel full. I have started to realize that an underlying theme in this novel revolves around what parents- or at least, parental figures- do for their children. Although I wouldn't have really thought this up until this chapter, that concept is also prevalent through the remainder of the novel. From the beginning of the book, Oskar says that his mom would have chosen to have him die rather than his father. He also states that his Grandma, despite her always saying how much she loves him, doesn't really feel that way. Also sprinkled into the book are several letters from Oskar's grandpa, addressed to "My unborn child." Numerous times, Oskar tells the audience about everything his father did that expressed his love, even if Oskar doesn't recognize it to be so. Later in the novel, Mr. Black gives Oskar the word "Son." There are countless examples that revolve around the underlying theme of the extent parents go to for their children, and in my personal opinion this quote wraps it up entirely. Ideally, parents are their children's: protectors, lovers, friends, keepers, etc. Not always do they fit these things, but at the end of the day one word will always ring true: and that word is "parent." This quote was so incredibly heartbreaking but also heart-warming, because in the midst of war, Grandma's father soothed and comforted her. He didn't scare her with the stories of what could happen, what would happen, or what was happening- he just told her that things would be okay. Although she was young, she knew things wouldn't be okay- but she still appreciated the fact that her father, above anything else, tried to protect her- because that's what parents are supposed to do.
This quote from the novel really hit my close to my heart. It shows how much of an amazing dad that Oscar was lucky enough to have, despite his dads childhood. This quote shows how mature Oscar is for his age. Most kids would be angry at their dad, but Oscar understood why he did what he did. Oscar knows what the job of being dad is, and thats why this quote is so significant. I shows that Oskar has grown, and is continuing to grow.
I also found this chapter really interesting, because this is when a lot of my unanswered questions are answered. Like, for instance, how we found out that, yes the typewriter wasn't working, but she knew the whole time. She was just playing along for attention. Or how she ended up having a baby, and that it was what she wanted but not him. That is why he left her, which is what is also answered. The thing I like about this book is that questions came up, and they were always answered.
Oskar's grandparents rose from the ashes of a horrifying situation. The fact that his grandfather never took pictures of his grandmother shows that he was not planning on anything in his life to be permanent. Additionally, it reinstates that the grandfather was not in love with his wife but settling for her in place of her sister. While Oskar's grandmother's memory of her mother applying makeup seems happy, her mother's tears capture a very different memory. To her mother, this was the last advice and guidance she could give to her daughter. The parents knew of some threat and realized they may not be a part of their daughter's future, if she survived at all. How do you think the parents suspected this? The girls' father was obviously somewhat political based on his burning of books and discussions with the girls' uncle. However, how would anyone have been able to predict such a tragedy?
Oskar’s grandmother’s mother probably cried when helping her learn about makeup because, like Oskar’s grandmother mentioned, her mother rarely touched her. There was no reason to. Humans are very sociable and tactile creatures and so being able to touch and hold her daughter in an motherly and intimate way was painful for her since it was rarely done. Oskar’s grandmother got rid of all the pets from the apartment because they reminded her of her husband. Also, I think that it’s interesting that her husband as willing to have a bunch of different pets, which is a lot of commitment, but decided to leave once his wife was pregnant.
When Oskar's grandmother states, "He never took pictures of me, and we didn't buy life insurance," it reinforces the fact that their marriage wasn't normal. He didn't take pictures of her, but he took pictures of everything else in the house. This must have made her feel like she didn't matter to him, which isn't how marriage should be. They also didn't buy life insurance, which I'm pretty sure most married couples do.
"He promised us that everything would be ok. I was a child, but I knew that everything would not be ok. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father." I love that quote. It illustrates the relationship that Oskar's grandmother had with her father. He knew everything was not okay, but he didn't want to trouble his daughter, so he lied. This didn't make him a liar, although he was lying. It made him a father, since he was sacrificing the truth to provide comfort to his child, which parents frequently do.
Oskar's grandmother got rid of all the pets to get rid of the memories of the grandfather. She felt betrayed when he didn't return because she believed in him. That entire day, she had believed that he would return, but when he didn't, she felt betrayed and abandoned. She probably thought that if he was able to set himself free from the house then the animals should be free too.
When Oskar's grandmother states, "He never took pictures of me, and we didn't buy life insurance", this quote I feel like represents their relationship they have together and how they treat one another. In this chapter we learned a lot about Oskar's grandparent's marriage, agreeing with Cathryn that Oskar's grandma will never feel the true love from her husband. Their relationship and more about being helpful and being each other's company more than a true love relationship. Oskar's grandmother hoped for the day where her husband will finally take a picture of her instead of everything else around the house and truly love her!Also, Oskar's grandmother got rid of all her pets from her apartment because she was pregnant and thought they should be freed out of the sake of her new baby coming. I find it interesting that her husband life her just because she was pregnant but he was the one that wanted all those animals in their house. That is the same responsibility, and the thought of the animals reminded her of her husband so she had to free them. Oskar's grandparent's relationship is so sad and I wish he would have never left her!
The line "He never took pictures of me, and we didn't buy life insurance." lets the readers take a glimpse into the relationship between Oskar's grandmother and Thomas. Oskar's grandmother had done a million things and more for Thomas, taking care of his animals, helping with the store, in hopes of getting one feeling she'll never receive love. She further points this point out by stating that Thomas never took pictures of her in their many years of being together. Oskar tries but has no love to give to Oskar's grandmother, as it died many years ago with Anna. Anna was Oskar's true love as she completed the parts he didn't know about himself. When Anna was killed in the bombings, many feelings that Thomas had gone with her, the main one being love. Oskar's grandmother and grandfather's relationship is like a counselor trying to talk to a patient that doesn't want help, being one person striving for an emotion the other lacks or doesn't want to share.
The fact that his grandfather never took pictures of his grandmother really shows how one-sided their whole relationship was. His letters to Oskar's dad and her letters to Oskar show how much his grandmother put into the relationship and how much his grandfather didn't. She really did love him and care for him, but he was too busy thinking about Anna to truly give that love and care back. As Cathryn said, I think the true nature of their relationship was prominent when neither of them pointed to the "I love you" in Thomas' book. I think both of them realized how forced it was after that.
When reading this chapter I couldn't help but feel how Oskar's grandmother was heartbroken. It shows that Oskar's grandmothers relationship with his grandfather was only one sided, she took care of his grandfather, took care of the pets. In return she hoped one day he would love her, but instead he left her.But his grandfather loved her sister instead, it could be seen when he we was trying to sculpt. He wasn't sculpting Oskar's grandmother, he was using her to sculpt her sister Anna his true love.
Throughout the book it is obvious that Oskar's grandparents did not have a conventional relationship. Once I got to this chapter, the author goes into even more detail to explain the different nature of their marriage. I can not imagine how Oskar's grandmother felt in this relationship, knowing that her husband would rather take pictures of doorknobs than her. I think towards the end of the book it was shown that they do share an awkward kind of love, but many things that were pointed out remind the reader that Oskar's grandparents were unusually distant.
This chapter really helped me understand their relationship a lot better. When Oskar's grandmother states that his grandfather never took pictures of her it showed me more about their relationship. It seemed as if his grandfather mostly took photos of door nobs, and none of his grandmother. To me, that would make me feel like I wasn't good enough, and his grandmother must be feeling that way as well. The pictures are a representation that his grandfather will never show full love to his grandmother, even though that is what she is really wanting.
Oskar’s grandmother and her husband had a very strange relationship together. Oskar’s grandfather never took pictures of his wife because he simply didn’t see the need to, he had different views and ideas than many other people. This also showed just how much more Oskar’s grandmother loved her husband without getting the same amount of love back. Oskar’s grandmother did everything for Oskar, hoping by doing those things she would finally received the full love that she deserved from him. I feel as if Oskar just settled with the sister because he couldn’t have the one that he truly wanted. However, I do believe that they loved each other very much even though one loved the other more.
This chapter really gave readers a deeper look into Oskar’s grandparents relationship. It’s saddening to see where his grandfather’s priorities lay. He would take pictures of everything in the house, yet none of his own wife. It is clear that the love isn’t there when we see them using a day book to speak to each other, yet neither of them pointed to “I love you”. The quote “He promised us that everything would be ok. I was a child, but I knew that everything would not be ok. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father." is significant because it shows us the true meaning of being a parent. Parents are supposed to protect their kids and tell them everything is going to be alright, even when they know that’s not true. Being a parent means doing anything to protect your children, and if that means having to withhold certain information to protect your kids, then so be it. Parents understand that sometimes telling the truth isn’t the best thing for their kids, and that’s exactly why her father said that everything would be alright.
This chapter was definitely one of my favorite ones throughout the entire book. The way things played out and were described were truly breathtaking and some of the lines were just stunning. You really get a feel for how interesting the relationship between Oskars grandparents is and how unconventional they are. Usually in books, there is a common theme between how couples act and they are either madly in love with zero issues or falling out of love and there is many prominent issues. However, Oskars grandparents go completely against the grain.They do love each other, but they don't always show it and they have issues but they seem to ignore them. When Oskars grandmother states, "He never took pictures of me, and we didn't buy life insurance." I think that could mean that as much as they love each other, they knew it wouldn't work out. For them, there was no reason to dwell on the past with pictures because it was much more important to live in the present.
There is quite a bit of significance in the quote "He promised us that everything would be ok. I was a child, but I knew that everything would not be ok. That did not make my father a liar. It made him a father." I think the most significance is found in the fact that parents will do anything to reassure their children that everything will be okay if it won't be. There is something about hearing "everything will be okay" from a parent that makes it so much more believable and comforting. In a change of topic, at the end of this chapter Oskars grandmother releases all of her pets from the apartment. This is shortly after her husband leaves and she realizes that he wont be coming back this time. I think she releases the animals because looking at them reminds her of her husband. I also feel that because he is no longer there, she feels as if she doesn't deserve anyone else if the one person she cared the most about, left her.
I feel that Oskar's grandparents relationship was that of two people who desperately tried to make the other person understand what they really needed and why they acted the way they did, but never found the right words or the courage to actually say what they needed to. His grandmother wanted to be seen, to be paid attention to as she was and not as just Anna's sister, seen when she keeps telling him her eyes are crummy even though they're fine and in her insistence that he say whether they are something or nothing. His grandfather wanted to try to build a life, but scarred as he was from losing everything he'd held dearest before, he's too afraid to have anything that precious again. It's why he ran away from his son- he didn't want to suffer through losing him, but in the process he lost a whole lifetime he could have spent with him. I definitely empathize with the notion that having people you care about is an incredibly scary thing. Grief is a terrible thing to suffer through, and it's tempting to shut everyone out so that you don't have to be exposed to that kind of pain. However, it's like his grandmother says, "You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness."
I think Oskar’s great-grandmother cries when applying makeup on her daughter because either she realizes that she’s growing up or that she doesn’t feel pretty. Thomas spends so much time taking pictures of doorknobs and other things around the house that he doesn’t take even one photo of his wife. He insures everything he has but her. I think this is because he did not love her like he loved the things he was using to figure out how to live (which he was so caught up in that he never got around to actually doing it).
This chapter reveals a lot about the relationship between Oskar's grandmother and grandfather. She mentions that he took multiple pictures of the apartment but never of her. She says that they bought the most expensive insurance policy on the apartment but they never got life insurance. These statements reveal a lot about how they view life. They viewed life as having what's needed to survive as a human but not caring about the quality of life. Oskar's grandfather even wrote "I do not know how to live." This shows that he never really understood what things should be more important than others. He couldn't understand that their lives are more important than their possessions because he does not understand what life is all about. If he can find the reason for living then he will be able to understand that anything in his apartment can be replaced except for his wife and future child.
This chapter describes the kind of relationship Oskar's Grandmother and Grandfather had. The pictures of the apartment for insurance, but yet no pictures of her because they didn't have life insurance. I believe it means they weren't going to stay together and she knew it. They never looked at each other in the nothing places they went to work. The house insurance meant the house was stable and they wanted to keep it that way. There was no need to take a picture if each other because they were never considered a stable relationship. They never cared about the quality or satisfaction of life. They got what they needed they survived. When she was pregnant she hid it for so long when she told his Grandfather he left. The pictures were taken because the apartment can be replaced but as for his wife and unborn child cannot and he isn't ready for that part of life it is unknown to him.
One thing that I really believed about Oskar's grandparents is that there was a lot of hesitation in their relationship. I feel that the spaces they began to mark as "Something" and "Nothing" were equivalent to emotional walls. I think in the end of their relationship when there was more "Nothing" than there was "Something" that Oskar's grandfather had not only lost his wife (intentionally) but also himself. He couldn't bear being with her anymore. I think that the rigidness in a relationship makes it hard to even live life...
When Oskar's grandmother says that her husband insured everything but their lives, I think it was because he didn't quite love her. I know, I know, he loved her, but... I just think he might've lost a bit of his will to live.. It's depressing, but that's what I sort of believe. In a way, leaving his wife was killing a part of himself. I don't think he's a bad person for leaving, but I know that he could've done something less emotionally damaging.
Oskar's grandmother had a unique relationship with her husband (Oskar's grandfather). They took pictures of their home but not each other. They bought insurance for their home but not for their lives. This tells me that they appreciated what that had achieved together but never appreciated each other on the road there. Oskar's grandfather's hands never lost their roughness because he was always working. The quote mentioned shows a father saying what a normal parent would say. Reassuring his child that "everything will be okay" isn't lying, it's being a good parent. Grandmother got rid of her pets because she felt when her husband left her, everything else should, too. That, or they would be too dangerous for the baby, taking it literally.
As a father, you are obligated to take care of your family and to love them, no matter what it takes. This includes throwing everything out of the window that is proper or socially acceptable or whatever it may be. It is WHATEVER it takes. Lying is a part of being a parent. Who's parents never lie to their kids? Exactly. All of them do it, it's just a part of being a parent. So in conclusion, just because you may not tell the truth and you do something like that, if it is for the safety and concern for the people that you love it's justifiable. You're not a bad person for it, you're just being a good parent.
In earlier chapters, it was already explained to us that Oskar's grandfather used to sculpt and later fell in love with Oskar's grandmother for a festering reason of missing her sister. He never really loved Oskar's grandmother with all of his heart, his heart belonged to her sister. I think that he knew this and thus, restrained himself from investing himself too far into Oskar's grandmother. The book states that "He never took pictures of me, and we didn't buy life insurance." This further reinforces the idea that he was never really invested in her. There wasn't anything to lose to him because he had already lost what he truly loved and that was her sister.
The fact that Oskar's grandfather never took pictures of his wife, and her telling of how he never did, shows a fault in the relationship. It shows how Oskar's grandmother doesn't feel loved or wanted as much as she feels she should. She just wants to feel wanted but her husband, although he does love her, seems to be stuck in a different place in his heart.
The quote is significant because it shows the role of a father. It shows that with the war it was a difficult situation for a father to explain to his kids as well as to help them feel safe. As a parent, it was important to keep his kids safe, both physically and mentally.
I feel awful for Oskar's grandmother because his Grandpa doesn't have any pictures of her due to his love for his sister. Their relationship revolves around helping each other out and not on love due to this. All Oskar's grandmother wanted was to be loved, which seems simple for a married couple, but grandpa never saw her as his wife, more as an acquaintance causing grandma to feel deeply alone. Despite all of her attempt, their marriage remained loveless because of grandpa's empty heart.
Oskar's grandmother and grandfather's relationship was always "temporary" in that there was always uncomfortable space between them. Photographs and life insurance would have made their relationship "permanent" and unnatural for both of them.
As she writes to Oskar, she considers how many shoes she has worn in her lifetime, as reviews her life, past and present. The shoes are a measurement for how much life she has lived, as well as its repetitiveness.
When she talks about her father, she describes how much he cared about his family. During the bombing, he may have lied to her, but only out of his want to make her feel safe. Although she knows that his promise couldn't be kept, she did not think he was wrong to do so- he was just acting in his nature.
Man this chapter was sad. I had a shred of hope for Oskar's grandpa once he decided to stay, but the leaving a second time was a punch right through that little mouse of hope I had. Shame. I understand why he did it, but that still doesn't make it right. The whole chapter is practically just about how the grandmother never really gets the love she wants. The blank-spaces being intentional, for example. That kind of relationship, where your simply obligated to help your partner with little feelings for compassion, really can turn into to quite a drag, I'd imagine. Still though, if the right thing to do is help said someone, do what you can.
The significance of the quote about her father saying everything would be okay is that oskar's family had a similar conversation on the day Oskar's father didn't come home. in both conversations there was an illusion of safety that someone was keeping so that everyone remained calm. that is a father's role. to make sure you feel safe and let you know that no harm will come to you. In Oskar's case, he had to keep the illusion of hope up for his mom and vice versa.
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